Beau7890

A chicken walks into a bar holding a violin case. He’s wearing a chrysanthemum in his lapel. He sits down at the mahogany bar, which has a brass rail to support your feet.

Bottles are arrayed in front of a giant gilded mirror, over which hangs a full-length portrait of a reclining nude ln a meadow.

The chicken orders a Bombay Martini straight up, olives on the side. The bartender, sitting in a wheelchair, continues polishing a glass. A prostitute sits down next to the chicken. She's young, willowy, has a far away look in her eyes. Her name is Meredith.

The chicken goes into the men's room and enters one of the stalls.

Written on the wall are the words, “Avoid the detour sign at the Kingston bypass.” Below that, “If only you hadn’t used all the toilet paper I would have been able to return to my table.” And last: “I feel safer here than in my own bed.”

--Joe Frank

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• Dec 30
  Beau7890 props article Dave Barry's year in review: 2009 -
  
  Dave Barry
  - MiamiHerald.com
• Dec 30
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• Dec 30
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• Dec 30
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• Dec 30
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• Dec 30
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• Dec 30
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• Dec 30
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• Dec 30
  Beau7890 props article OpEd: Deminted Politics - Bob Franken
• Dec 30
  Beau7890 props article Joe Lieberman: How About Another War?
• Dec 30
  Beau7890 props article Distinguishing Judicial And Legislative Filibusters | The New Republic
• Dec 30
  Beau7890 comments on article Vermont Judge Orders Biological Mom to Transfer Custody to Lesbian Ex-Partner - Sphere News
• Dec 30
  Beau7890 drops article Fox Expert Panel Discuss Christmas Day Terror Plot
• Dec 30
  Beau7890 drops article Dick Cheney: Barack Obama 'trying to pretend' - - POLITICO.com
• Dec 30
  Beau7890 drops article American Thinker Blog: The Bizarro President
• Dec 30
  Beau7890 props article AL QAEDA TO WAGE UNDERPANT-BASED WAR, SAY EXPERTS
• Dec 30
  Beau7890 shares article Vermont Judge Orders Biological Mom to Transfer Custody to Lesbian Ex-Partner - Sphere News
• Dec 30
  Beau7890 comments on article Vermont Judge Orders Biological Mom to Transfer Custody to Lesbian Ex-Partner - Sphere News
• Dec 30
  Beau7890 props article Vermont Judge Orders Biological Mom to Transfer Custody to Lesbian Ex-Partner - Sphere News
• Dec 30
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• Dec 30
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• Dec 30
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• Dec 30
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• Dec 30
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• Dec 29
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• Dec 29
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• Dec 29
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• Dec 29
  Beau7890 comments on article Pat Buchanan's Torture American Style: Withhold meds from would-be Flight 253 bomber | Crooks and Liars
• Dec 29
  Beau7890 props article Pat Buchanan's Torture American Style: Withhold meds from would-be Flight 253 bomber | Crooks and Liars
• Dec 29
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• Dec 29
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• Dec 29
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• Dec 29
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• Dec 29
  Beau7890 props article Will Republican Sen DeMint Apologize For Endangering U.S. Air Safety?
• Dec 29
  Beau7890 comments on article Death Panels Lie On Factcheck.Org's 'Whoppers Of 2009'
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• Dec 29
  Beau7890 props article Rove says Obama's handling of Nigerian airline bomber weaker than Bush's -- even though it's identical | Crooks and Liars
• Dec 29
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• Dec 29
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• Dec 29
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• Dec 29
  Beau7890 props article The 12 Weirdest Right-Wing Conspiracies Of 2009
• Dec 29
  Beau7890 drops article The Two Americas
• Dec 29
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• Dec 29
  Beau7890 drops article Obama to reinflate housing bubble | Washington Examiner
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• Dec 29
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• Dec 29
  Beau7890 drops article American Thinker: The Left's Blind Eye to the Obvious
• Dec 29
  Beau7890 drops article American Thinker: The Government Still Hasn't a Clue