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Submitted Articles (122)
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Profile Of An Olympic Failure: Edna Jamanski
Posted by: capnews 3 days, 5 hours agoIn this special report, CAP News takes a look at one Olympic hopeful who struggled to reach her dreams - and fell just short.
Discuss (1)
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Bush Incontinence Disrupts Olympic Opening Ceremony
Posted by: capnews 1 week, 2 days agoWhite House Press Secretary Dana Perino said Bush's knee-shaking and watch-looking were not indicative of boredom; it just meant he had to go.
Discuss (1)
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Archeologists Discover John McCain's Crypt
Posted by: capnews 1 week, 5 days agoDetails are sketchy as many have been reluctant to discuss what they saw when the crypt door opened and McCain's former ideals burst into ...
Discuss (2)
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Olympic Sailing Site Cleared Of Dead Bodies
Posted by: capnews 2 weeks, 3 days agoThe bodies were part of Beijing's efforts to remove people they felt could threaten the image they want to portray to the world during ...
Discuss (0)
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McCain, Obama: Cosmo Cover Also Tasteless, Offensive
Posted by: capnews 3 weeks, 6 days agoOther publications that have also drawn fire from either McCain or Obama in recent weeks include Popular Mechanics, Men's Health, Highlights and Essence.
Discuss (1)
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Airlines Roll Out New Punch-In-The-Face Fee
Posted by: capnews 4 weeks agoThe new fee is assessed at the point of purchase and gives airline employees the freedom to punch passengers square in the face at any ...
Discuss (0)
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Scientists Warn Of New Global Luke Warming Threat
Posted by: capnews 1 month agoThey claim to have proof that most inanimate objects will always move slowly toward a median temperature regardless of their initial inherent temperature.
Discuss (1)
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McCain Advisor: We're A Nation Of Winos
Posted by: capnews 1 month ago"Carlos Bonilla does not speak for me. In fact, the guy is usually slurring his words so badly you can't tell who he's ...
Discuss (2)
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Royals Become First Sports Team To Sponsor Gay Guy
Posted by: capnews 1 month, 1 week agoThe team has reportedly inked 22-year-old gay guy J.C. Tavarez of South Beach, Fla. to a $14 million deal to wear their team colors ...
Discuss (0)
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Snack Food Industry: Chips Don't Kill
Posted by: capnews 1 month, 1 week agoThe snack food industry is launching a new marketing effort to turn people away from salmonella-laced vegetables and toward less deadly options.
Discuss (7)
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Rod Stewart Apologizes For 30 Years Of Crap Music
Posted by: capnews 1 month, 2 weeks agoStewart acknowledged that he has dropped even the semblance of originality, recording only albums of songs by other artists, many of them dead.
Discuss (23)
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McCain Calls For Branding Of Democrats
Posted by: capnews 1 month, 2 weeks agoUnder McCain's proposal, voters who declare themselves as Democrat would be branded with a letter 'D' in order to tell them apart from "real ...
Discuss (14)
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FDA Raises Vegetable Threat Level To Red
Posted by: capnews 2 months agoThe threat level change has shocked many Americans, most of whom also expressed surprise that the FDA even had a threat level system to begin ...
Discuss (5)
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Men Declare Victory Over Women In Wake Of Hillary Loss
Posted by: capnews 2 months agoMen everywhere celebrated by eating Beef Jerkey and sardines while watching old "Three Stooges" episodes and assorted Bill Murray films.
Discuss (3)
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America's Wealthy Offer Tips For Avoiding A Recession
Posted by: capnews 2 months, 1 week agoIn this CAP News special report, wealthy Americans team up to help you, the average American making less than $700,000 annually, make ends meet.
Discuss (5)
