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Satire: Satan is Santa Claus - The Devil Is In Your Chimney! »
Posted by: deathray 2 years, 10 months agoIs Santa Claus really Satan? Apparently some people think so.
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deathray
Hm...summarizing a life...Investment banker, sailor, unintentional gourmet cook. Ex US Naval officer, also Foreign Service. Split my time between NYC and Miami Beach ...
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Comments: 353
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deathray
Dec. 20, 2006, 6:57 p.m.Disclaimer:
I do not believe that Santa Claus is the Great Deceiver.
I wonder if, in fact, some people do. Either this is really funny or it is truly appalling.
Merry Christmas, either way.
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Goppy
Dec. 20, 2006, 7:40 p.m.This is entirely true.
Our church completely abhors Santa Claus.
We do indeed call him Satans Claws - because that's what happens to those who believe in him.
Believe in Santa, and Satan will put his Claws into you.
And when Satan has his Claws in you, it's like trying to kick crack.
Or so I've been told.
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contrast
Dec. 20, 2006, 7:59 p.m.yeah this guy isnt for real. But I remember now why I stopped going to church. I remember being a little boy going to church and hearing stuff kinda like this and halloween? oh man forget it. The church is so hung up on the birth of Jesus but in reality Jesus was born in the summer. Anything that doesnt have to do with Jesus is bad in the eys of the church nevermind that Christmas makes children happy and it may even spread (gasp) good will between fellow grown ups. I've seen the church burn pokemon dolls call star wars satan wars and all sorts of other crap. The modern church is SO far off from its original roots. Spread peace love acceptace and TOLERANCE. I love Jesus I just hate the church.
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deathray
Dec. 20, 2006, 7:01 p.m.Some supplemntal material:
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ekklesiawarrior
Dec. 21, 2006, 5:10 a.m.Saint Nicholas, a Patron Saint of the Orthodox Church.
To those that contend the person never existed, are
very, very wrong! This person, Saint Nicholas now has several names across the world.
However since the late 1800's, the term 'Santa Claus', has become nothing more than gifts for each other. The American version has made this the commercial event of the year.
Frankly we do NOT enjoy the American version of Christmas. Not only the commercialism, but church groups for the most do not even tell the story correctly.
The celebration of Christmas as Hanukkah, are not commanded by the Holy Scriptures. However that can be an awe and a sense of the Presence of the LORD, as we revere Him.
To those whom think this all emotion. That is your own personal loss, you do not know what and who you are missing!
Wish all of you well.
* Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.
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deathray
Dec. 20, 2006, 7:13 p.m.are you sure Gordon, are those hoof prints o the roof from the reindeer, or are they from the goat feet of Satan himself?
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Bkumm
Dec. 20, 2006, 7:18 p.m.It's satirical. It is supposed to be exactly that. Demented drivel, unfortunately I've heard stuff like this from some real churches.
This however, is just supposed to be funny. And it is.
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lfergie812
Dec. 20, 2006, 7:29 p.m.I would be incline to agree with you if the story didn't have the Landover Baptist Church as the source. I don't think this author is kidding. Of course I'm not familiar with them.
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psydoc
Dec. 20, 2006, 10:46 p.m.Satan, please don't sit on the couch...I have special fire proof material for you.
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mozzer
Dec. 20, 2006, 7:04 p.m.This is too funny! Remember: Santa is an anagram for Satan.
oh yeah, I believe this entire site is satire.
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Donnaich
Dec. 20, 2006, 7:36 p.m.Mozzer,
I believe I saw something in the past that identified this site IS a satire site. I'm pretty sure you and Bkumm hit it exactly right.
Did you know dyslexic devil worshippers sell their soul to Santa? }:>
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misanoel
Dec. 22, 2006, 10:21 p.m.Right, it is an anagram, not a "sonogram" as the article indicated.
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random1734
Dec. 20, 2006, 7:06 p.m.I don't know if it is humor, but I do find it appaling. This is just wrong!
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PinkyPie
Dec. 20, 2006, 7:06 p.m.This is wickedly funny, as are some of the 'ads' on the side of the page...a WWJD thong for a stocking stuffer? ROFL!
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ind06
Dec. 21, 2006, 12:59 a.m.Yes, the Jesus Thong was FAR funnier than requesting we scream out at the mall santa line that santa is nothing but a demon ready to drag their little bodies screaming down to hell.
Though, to actually SEE someone do that at the mall might be amusing, as long as I wasn't the one who had to mop up all the blood.
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Bkumm
Dec. 20, 2006, 7:17 p.m.This whole site is satire and it is cripplingly funny. Do you suppose cripplingly is a word? Heh, who cares?
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ConquerorWyrm
Dec. 20, 2006, 7:32 p.m.These Landover folk seem pretty good at skewering without breaking character. gonna have to give the site a real good look. spoofing with a strait-face...
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Goppy
Dec. 20, 2006, 7:53 p.m.One day, this entire nation will be Baptist.
George Bush was just the first Conservative Christian to lead our nation.
I envision Baptist Judges, Senators, Representatives, and Presidents - all from the Southern Baptist tradition.
Believe me, you will (we ALL will) be much happier.
With Baptists as leaders of our nation - you can be assured that God is speaking through them.
And since God speaks in tounges, and only born again Christians can understand 'speaking in tounges', you'll have to come to us with all your questions.
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Spadecaller
Dec. 20, 2006, 7:46 p.m."A Tribute to Strom Thurmond: The Last True Christianâ;¢ Senator
"I wanna tell you, ladies and gentlemen, that there's not enough troops in the army to force the southern people to break down segregation and admit the ****** race into our theaters and swimming pools, into our homes and into our churches - Mr. Thurmond ..."
The above quotation comes from this "crippling funny site"! Not my kind of humor. Those of us who are black and blog on Netscape will surely find this despicable, as they should.
(Continue to laugh)
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Spadecaller
Dec. 20, 2006, 7:49 p.m."Landover Baptist will utilize a screening process invented by wealthy, educated colored folks. 'We understand that people of color with money are just as leery of other Negroes whose ancestors were apparently so hideously unattractive that no obese, drunken white man could even bring himself to rape them,' said Pastor Deacon Fred."
The above quotation comes from this "crippling funny site"!
Pretty sick humor.
(continue to laugh)
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Bkumm
Dec. 20, 2006, 9 p.m.I would like to personally apologize to you, Spade. If you find it offensive. I am not affiliated in any way with the site, however I did find that it offered insite. I have heard people in the 'Christian' community say things almost this hideous. It is not serious, it is an attempt to portray the ridiculous nature of what some people espouse.
Again, I apologize if you found my post offensive.
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Goppy
Dec. 20, 2006, 7:50 p.m.You all laugh but there IS a Liberal Conspiracy in this nation to undermine the values of our Children.
Maybe you don't remember Winky Dinky.
Of course you don't.
Because the Liberal Media has hidden this story.
Winky Dinky was the Gay Teletubbie.
Liberals have, and will continue to seek ways to inveigle their way into the hearts and minds of our children for one purpose, and one purpose only, to recruit them for members of their Gay Pride Marches.
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bubba2
Dec. 20, 2006, 8:17 p.m.I think everyone forgot about Tinky Winky (not Winky Dinky, and it is Teletubby ...) because it was a whole lot of fuss over a lot of NOTHING. It was EIGHT years ago and it is forgotten ...
I hope you are trying to be funny - because if you are not, then you have some serious problems and misconceptions and bias.
Maybe you should report Bert and Ernie (Sesame Street) to the "no aledged gay fictional characters allowed" police. They have been friends for 40 years now and I haven't heard any complaints.
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Spadecaller
Dec. 20, 2006, 7:53 p.m."If you are not assigned seats in your class, follow the scent of garlic and find a place to sit near some foreign looking student who has swarthy skin that reminds you of anything from either a chunk of coal or a little stray pooty left behind in the whirlpool of toilet water. It is safe to assume that the parents of these students have already wasted a good part of their lives indoctrinating them with a dangerous, made-up, false religion."
The preceding quote on this same site are the recommendation for teaching their children how to pledge their allegiance. Crippling funny?
Would you say these things to your own children?
Or is this sophisticated humor?
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Bkumm
Dec. 20, 2006, 9:04 p.m.This is not serious, it is satire and as such is not intended for children. Again, I'm terribly sorry if my finding some of the things on the site extremely amusing. In fact, I find the above post rather funny because it exposes the stupidity of people who would actually believe such a thing.
I am just being honest. This kind of thinking actually exists in our world and if we close our eyes to it, we are not doing ourselves or our children justice. By closing our eyes we lose the oppurtunity to see.
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psydoc
Dec. 20, 2006, 11:39 p.m.Hey Ignorant one...oh, I mean Spadecaller. If you are so ignorant that you have not paid attention to Bkumm's or my posts then just keep up your rants.
If you want to use some intellect, then pay close attention to what I am about to say! "This article is all that is the issue of this thread. Your racist rants are "Out of line"!!!!! No one here has disagreed that any racially degrading content of the site is acceptable. This post has only to do with the Santa/Satan controversy. You know that because I have seen many of your posts. Do you think you are being clever by posting all this sh**!
Before tonight, I had great respect for your posts. YOU just lost me!
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Beau7890
Dec. 21, 2006, 4:06 a.m.Some of the cleverest satire is sometimes offensive, Spadecaller. I believe there've been (and still are) quite a few who have been offended by "Huck Finn," though Twain's point most certainly was to make fun of those who thought black slaves were inferior to whites.
And who wouldn't be offended, while simultaneously amused, at Jonathan Swift's "A Modest Proposal" (1729), in which the author proposes that the hungry Irish eat their children, rather than suffer hardship trying to support them? Apparently, they're both tasty AND nutritious:
"I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee or a ragout."
The humor is up to the reader's taste, but the pointed commentary can't be ignored.
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bubba2
Dec. 20, 2006, 7:56 p.m.This has GOT to be a satire, because I just noticed the graphic on the right side of the page about Democrats sprouting "Testicles of Terror" and another graphic advertising the "Elf Cheney store". (THAT is FUNNY!)
A rather off-beat sense of humor, I must say ...
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catstevensComment has been removed: User banned.
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Spadecaller
Dec. 20, 2006, 8:17 p.m."Learning to Treat Negroes Like Human Beings
There are large primates that live on the jungle floor and scare missionaries, who, being Christians, are armed against them. They are called gorillas. There are even primates that rob liquor stores, organize marches and attempt to imitate human speech..."
I guess in the name of satire this is acceptable to some people. I don't prefer to cherry pick humor from this barrel of rotten apples. I like joking around and having fun, but when the "N" word is used to describe people of color, or to refer to black people as gorillas, the humor is gone for me. It is gone because it can't be shared in a mixed audience without hurting others.
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deathray
Dec. 20, 2006, 8:24 p.m.You are correct, they crossed the line. I did not see the sick rhetoric on the rest of the site, and I apologize if you were offended.
I did mention in my message that some might be offended by the content of this website, though, so, you were warned.
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AmpLee
Dec. 20, 2006, 11:22 p.m.((I like joking around and having fun, but when the "N" word is used to describe people of color, or to refer to black people as gorillas, the humor is gone for me. It is gone because it can't be shared in a mixed audience without hurting others.))
Ever heard the expression about explaining a joke?
Either something is funny or not, if there's a waiting period inbetween the joke and the recipient processing said joke thru his ideas about what and why and how and if it's offensive to anybody, and then it's 'OK' to laugh, sorta goes against spontenaity and true laughter, which is amoral and not a respecter of persons.
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Spadecaller
Dec. 20, 2006, 8:24 p.m.How are people of color or Muslims going to receive this humor? Would you read these remarks in front of a mixed group of people if they were looking you in the eyes and you in theirs? Most of you I know would not.
But for every person who reads these blogs and reads that site and watches this display; I gaurantee most of them will disappeear from Netscape without a word.
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2sidestoeverything
Dec. 20, 2006, 8:51 p.m.Spadecaller thanks for pointing out some of the other things that was on the site I did not check it out that deep I am not happy with the N word or gorllia being used to describ anyone. You are right this is not funny.
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ConquerorWyrm
Dec. 21, 2006, 1:05 a.m.Yes, these quotes are reprehensible. Yes, they express a sick point of view. Yes, they are also, from the readings on other pages of this site, a perhaps ill-guided attempt at satarizing the extreme ends of the close-minded religious community.
Not all churches, or even a tiny bit, are as such...but some are and they are for real. If examples are needed, let's start with the Westboro Baptist Church...then, if that ain't enough for you, consider the jolly little ranchers in the Christian Identity cult...
From my reading, these Landover folk are using points of view such as found in those I mentioned and their like and taking it to the unacceptable extreme to amplify it's shock value.
These Landover folk put just a bit too strait a face on it and the jokes are not that well executed (my opinion). If it weren't for the WWJD thong, even the merchandizing fits along with the parody.
Ease up a little, friend...
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abntv
Dec. 20, 2006, 8:38 p.m.I think it is all for real..that Santa Snake never brought me what I wanted....how hard could it be to deliver a redhead with 40DD's down a chiminey
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deathray
Dec. 20, 2006, 8:41 p.m.If Santa were Satan, dont you think he'd have brought something to really tempt you to sin?
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amazed
Dec. 20, 2006, 10:09 p.m.I'm not finding this hysterical, death. But, what I find WAY more troubling than the article, which is truly hideous, is the insistence of Bkumm that this is really representative of any Christians. Even Jerry Falwell and whoever don't run around trashing Santa Claus.
Any "Christian" groups that do, are so outside the mainstream that is would be equivalent to the more religious pondering upon the overwhelming prevalence of atheists who believe that there is absolutely nothing in this world that you can do that is wrong and the best way to live is to make sure you take care of yourself first, at all costs.
Just as ridiculous. Just as most atheists I know are decent people who try to do right by others, most Christians are also decent people who do the same. The "Christians" Bkumm is always taking on about, represent a tiny (but loud) minority of all Christians. Kind of like the radical muslims are the exception (again, very loud) rather than the rule.
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deathray
Dec. 20, 2006, 10:26 p.m.In fact, amazed, if you Google "Santa Satan" there are a number of articles which are clearly not satirical in nature, and those are the ones that truly appalled me, differently than the terrible racist rhetoric that came from this "satirical site."
I was motivated to perform the same Google search when a good friend, an attorney and a pillar of the community, someone whose word is unimpeachable in my estimation, told me that as a youngster she had been required to read similar rhetoric at church. At 8 years of age.
Now, I am not saying that this is the norm, or that the vast majority of Chrisitans believe this, but there are clearly kernels of truth in this satire. Do the research.
As for Bkumm, it's clear that he does not aver that all, or the preponderance of Christians believe that Santa is a Satanic figure, or a metaphor for evil.
Most peple are decent, regardless of religious affiliation. It's some of their beliefs that verge on the ridiculous.
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Bkumm
Dec. 20, 2006, 10:27 p.m.I get the feeling that you don't like me much, amazed. Well, that's okay. I don't mind you. I'm not going to invite you to any parties, but I doubt you'd come anyway.
This is representative of a small, but very loud group of splinter Christians that give all Christians a bad name, just like a small minority of Muslims give all Muslims a bad name.
As for me 'always' and my 'insistence' about some things, well, if it is the truth (which you admit by the way) then I guess it is the truth. I humbly apologize if the truth interferes with you in any way amazed. I believe that the truth will set us free. I believe that when we close our eyes to the truth, we fail to see anything.
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mntnman444
Dec. 20, 2006, 11:22 p.m.Pat Robertson is no loner,he represents many thousands of so called christians who think they ARE the mainstream. They are dangerous,they have helped to elect 3 presidents in the last 25 yrs and they are the ones who want to push their sick beliefs on the rest of us through law,so if other christians dont like the criticism then they should be the ones to expose the phoneys and stop calling anyone who doesnt like these people godless America haters.
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abntv
Dec. 20, 2006, 10:30 p.m.I dont know why everyone is picking on Santa this year...did last year go badly for some people?
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Bkumm
Dec. 20, 2006, 10:35 p.m.There's nothing wrong with Santa. Santa is a good guy. Heck, I was in the bar drinking with him last night. He got a little tipsy and told me that he wasn't holding any grudges. But, I'll bet there are some people going to be really upset when they wake up Christmas morning.
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deathray
Dec. 20, 2006, 10:38 p.m.Hey abn -
In fact, Santa has always been good to me. He and Hanukah Harry.
Nothing wrong in my view with the jolly old elf. I didnt have a yom handy tonight when I lit the Hanukah candles, so I used a Santa hat instead. A hat is a hat. It's all good.
Nothing in the least bit satanic about that.
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