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SATIRE: Placebonol Offers Miracle Cure(s) »

Posted by: ind06 2 years, 9 months ago

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Pharmaceutical giant Naildge Amama this week was awarded FDA clearance to roll out its newest prescription wonder, Placebonol. This breakthrough drug boasts over a 30% cure rate across the board. The drug may be taken preventatively as a precaution against cancer, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, bowel irregularity, and male pattern baldness.

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ind06

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Comments: 26

Avg rating: (+9/-0 9)
ind06
Feb. 18, 2007, 4:22 a.m.
Soon, thanks to the miracle of modern chemistry, we will all be pharmically engineered SUPER BEINGS! I hope you've bought stock in Spandex because they're going to be selling by the acre!
Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)
natashas
Feb. 18, 2007, 8:35 a.m.
LOL, I am on the phone right now to get stock!
starmuscleComment has been removed: User banned.
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Formidable
Feb. 18, 2007, 9:34 a.m.
I have read recently that Britney Spears is experiencing pelt depletion in several areas. Since Ronco does not offer products with a beaver safe label could she possibly find relief with Placebonol?
Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)
Beeboppin71
Feb. 18, 2007, 9:42 a.m.
Wow! A cure-all for everything, including a mental disorder that I may or may not know I have. I can be perfect for only $38 a day which amounts to $1,140 per month. That's only $13,680 per year!! If I sell my SUV that will save me about $558.00 per month. If I cancel my DISH service that will save me another $200.00 per month. If I cancel my cell phone... NO! I can't do that! My internet...? My...? Will this drug be included on my Rx insurance plan?
Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)
Beeboppin71
Feb. 18, 2007, 1:52 p.m.
Well, weeping genital sores ARE scary and I don't recommend the use of 'PLACEBO' nol to cure them. Common sense would dictate that if your sores are weeping, you need to get to a doctor FAST!
Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)
Formidable
Feb. 18, 2007, 12:15 p.m.
What is the success rate in treating chronic disambiguation?
Avg rating: (+2/-0 2)
Formidable
Feb. 18, 2007, 3:47 p.m.
Anagram Phamaceuticals has just announced the introduction of a generic version of Placebonol. It will be called Clean Bloop. This will be a god send for all those suffering with congestive bloop syndrome. It will cost the same as Placebonol but you get two bottles of Kaboom with every purchase.
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ind06
Feb. 18, 2007, 6:48 p.m.
Anagram Pharma is releasing another related drug to compete with Viagra called Bone-A-Poll. You may have seen the ads or heard the jaunty theme song.
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Formidable
Feb. 18, 2007, 7:31 p.m.
Bone-A-Pol
Bone-A-Pol
Its going to make your day.
Bone-A-Pol
Bone-A-Pol
Just throw those prunes away.
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ETproductions
Feb. 19, 2007, 12:48 a.m.
Wow! Thanks Ind. This Placebonol comes along Just In Time! I've come down with a terrible case of what my doctor says is chronic hypochondriosis. Doc says that there was no cure known to man till Placebonol came along.