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America's Sweetheart Dumps U.S. For Some Douchebag »

Posted by: ind06 2 years, 8 months ago

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THE ONION RADIO NEWS with Doyle Redland reporting: Americans from all walks of life gathered today to discuss their feelings of heartbreak, anger and resentment towards America's sweetheart Kirsten Dunst.

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Comments: 74

Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)
ind06
April 9, 2007, 3:01 a.m.
And he's a foreign douchebag at that!
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kctrixter
April 9, 2007, 9:23 a.m.
Not sure but didn't they name a pointy hat after her.
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BronxBomber
April 9, 2007, 9:48 a.m.
Who's Gilberto Nunez? Oh that's right! He's that douchebag.
SusanParrishComment has been removed: User banned.
Avg rating: (+3/-8 -5)
BronxBomber
April 9, 2007, 9:51 a.m.
Whoever Gilberto Nunez is,even the 82nd airborn division could'nt take him....tough for a "buttmunch" & a douche bag to boot. Hey! They even let the word "buttmunch" in here!
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johnkamis64
April 9, 2007, 9:59 a.m.
Yes, the loss of Americas Sweetheart has affected us all...
I just got through with my own goodbye...got some friends together in a coffee shop, and we fired off a 21 bun salute.
(That's 10 tooters tooting, and a one cheek sneak!!!)
We then evacuated said coffee shop and went home.
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2sidestoeverything
April 9, 2007, 10:14 a.m.
I guess every women needs a little douche..........bag once in a while. P~l
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mozzer
April 9, 2007, 10:21 a.m.
How could you turn your back on us ...and Spiderman!
*sob* Why Kirsten? *snif* WHYYY!
I'm burning my "Bring It On" dvd, yooo whooooorrre!!!!
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ETproductions
April 9, 2007, 12:20 p.m.
Now wait a second folks. Have any of you ever actually tried a hot little session with a Portuguese douche bag? Might be some hot wet times. Can ya really blame a woman like Kirsten for wanting something more, erm, more fulfilling?
I say she's just having some good clean fun.
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mozzer
April 9, 2007, 2:11 p.m.
I remember that one! It was called "Dunston Checks In ...with a douchebag".
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droid3913
April 9, 2007, 2:31 p.m.
Who cares
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SlapALib
April 9, 2007, 3:02 p.m.
Portugal is the ghetto of Europe. You'd think the lousy b@#$% would have more class.
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susanlovesiowa
April 9, 2007, 3:55 p.m.
MUST you folks at Netscape always post "teaser lines" with vulgar terms in them ("do____bag"), not to mention the fact that you are "calling names." Respectfully, in a call for civility, SE
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AnvilHead
April 9, 2007, 4:54 p.m.
I think the 82nd Airborne would like to kick his ass after all compared to where they are now Portugal is cool.
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BronxBomber
April 9, 2007, 7:56 p.m.
or is it Brazil?
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THOMNH62
April 9, 2007, 9:46 p.m.
who f'in cares
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truthiness
April 9, 2007, 11:55 p.m.
Kirsten? Uhm, Kirsten, I uh, I just installed a bidet. so if your looking for some clean fun, well, uhm, I think I have something a little more exciting over here. I'll wear the spidey mask this time I promise.
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johnkamis64
April 11, 2007, 2:52 p.m.
Just remember:=: baggers can't be choosers!!!