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Sea Monkeys Claimed As Dependents »

Posted by: ind06 2 years, 9 months ago

THE ONION RADIO NEWS with Doyle Redland reporting: As the April 15th tax deadline nears, single man Terry Butler plans to go ahead and claim his family of tiny sea monkeys as a legitimate deduction.

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Comments: 54
  • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)ind06
    ind06
    April 12, 2007, 3:44 a.m.

    Hey, you gotta take those deductions where you can find 'em.

    • Avg rating: (+2/-1 1)elll
      elll
      April 12, 2007, 6:59 a.m.

      ugh...I havent even filed yet

      • Avg rating: (+4/-3 1)dadesider
        dadesider
        April 12, 2007, 9:41 a.m.

        The two words, "IRS" and "Understand" are mutually exclusive, like, like, like...

        • Avg rating: (+2/-0 2)elel
          elel
          April 12, 2007, 10:07 a.m.

          Oh I don't want to go check out the 2007 Patriot Jeep[still like my 87Jeep Pioneer the best, wonderful vehicle never got stuck!], but give me the adventure!...Monkeys, that's right this is about Sea Monkeys, I think I gave some to one or three of the the nieces or nephews...well, I would imagine if they had SS#'s IRS would allow them.

          ... and Oh Ya dadesider definitely "mutually exclusive"

          and thanky you ind, not gross this morn, goes good with my tea and chocolate:)

          • Avg rating: (+1/-0 1)johnkamis64
            johnkamis64
            April 12, 2007, 10:43 a.m.

            Did that guy who wanted to deduct his leeches as a medical expense get away with it???

            • Avg rating: (+13/-0 13)natashas
              natashas
              April 12, 2007, 10:46 a.m.

              I should claim my politicians. I would get back thousands! I could use the money to free the sea monkeys, lol!

              • Avg rating: (+10/-1 9)BronxBomber
                BronxBomber
                April 12, 2007, 11:02 a.m.

                Maybe the IRS will give me a tax break, and let me claim my cockroaches, after all, I live in the Bronx...

                • Avg rating: (+1/-0 1)1basque1
                  1basque1
                  April 12, 2007, 11:10 a.m.

                  Whats the IRS ? I have to file something....Hhmmm I better check into this IRS thing !!!

                  • Avg rating: (+3/-0 3)elll
                    elll
                    April 12, 2007, 12:19 p.m.

                    I've never been audited, but I imagine with all the changes in my income last year.....it'll happen soon.

                    • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)johnkamis64
                      johnkamis64
                      April 12, 2007, 12:24 p.m.

                      I've been unemployed so long that my tax form consists of only one question "Any Changes???"

                      • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)ETproductions
                        ETproductions
                        April 12, 2007, 12:59 p.m.

                        Spoony the cat files for me and claims me as her dependent. So far, that flies right through the IRS's filters.

                        • Avg rating: (+8/-0 8)ind06
                          ind06
                          April 12, 2007, 3:02 p.m.

                          My cat never files, and she's got kittens to support.

                          • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)mozzer
                            mozzer
                            April 12, 2007, 6:07 p.m.

                            I claimed my dog, my cat, the weeds growing in my yard and that hot chick at the mall. I got a refund of $45,749.37!!!!! I hope they never find out I don't own a cat! lol!!suckas!!

                            • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)protoham
                              protoham
                              April 12, 2007, 10:51 p.m.

                              This is all great stuff, I am glad we can have a sense of humor about Taxes and the IRS.

                              • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)ofcmgr
                                ofcmgr
                                April 12, 2007, 11:39 p.m.

                                Mark Twain once said ; The difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector is that the taxidermist takes only your skin.

                                Plus remember this - it's becoming more and more difficult to support the government in the style to which it has become accustomed.

                                • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)fotoman1133406
                                  fotoman1133406
                                  April 13, 2007, 12:56 a.m.

                                  Guys,

                                  Hey, why not, government "wastes money like crazy...so why not "the little guy" get some.

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