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Sea Monkeys Claimed As Dependents »

Posted by: ind06 2 years, 7 months ago

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THE ONION RADIO NEWS with Doyle Redland reporting: As the April 15th tax deadline nears, single man Terry Butler plans to go ahead and claim his family of tiny sea monkeys as a legitimate deduction.

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ind06

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Comments: 54

Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)
ind06
April 12, 2007, 3:44 a.m.
Hey, you gotta take those deductions where you can find 'em.
Avg rating: (+2/-1 1)
elll
April 12, 2007, 6:59 a.m.
ugh...I havent even filed yet
Avg rating: (+4/-3 1)
dadesider
April 12, 2007, 9:41 a.m.
The two words, "IRS" and "Understand" are mutually exclusive, like, like, like...
Avg rating: (+2/-0 2)
elel
April 12, 2007, 10:07 a.m.
Oh I don't want to go check out the 2007 Patriot Jeep[still like my 87Jeep Pioneer the best, wonderful vehicle never got stuck!], but give me the adventure!...Monkeys, that's right this is about Sea Monkeys, I think I gave some to one or three of the the nieces or nephews...well, I would imagine if they had SS#'s IRS would allow them.
... and Oh Ya dadesider definitely "mutually exclusive"
and thanky you ind, not gross this morn, goes good with my tea and chocolate:)
Avg rating: (+1/-0 1)
johnkamis64
April 12, 2007, 10:43 a.m.
Did that guy who wanted to deduct his leeches as a medical expense get away with it???
Avg rating: (+13/-0 13)
natashas
April 12, 2007, 10:46 a.m.
I should claim my politicians. I would get back thousands! I could use the money to free the sea monkeys, lol!
Avg rating: (+10/-1 9)
BronxBomber
April 12, 2007, 11:02 a.m.
Maybe the IRS will give me a tax break, and let me claim my cockroaches, after all, I live in the Bronx...
Avg rating: (+1/-0 1)
1basque1
April 12, 2007, 11:10 a.m.
Whats the IRS ? I have to file something....Hhmmm I better check into this IRS thing !!!
Avg rating: (+3/-0 3)
elll
April 12, 2007, 12:19 p.m.
I've never been audited, but I imagine with all the changes in my income last year.....it'll happen soon.
Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)
johnkamis64
April 12, 2007, 12:24 p.m.
I've been unemployed so long that my tax form consists of only one question "Any Changes???"
Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)
ETproductions
April 12, 2007, 12:59 p.m.
Spoony the cat files for me and claims me as her dependent. So far, that flies right through the IRS's filters.
Avg rating: (+8/-0 8)
ind06
April 12, 2007, 3:02 p.m.
My cat never files, and she's got kittens to support.
Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)
mozzer
April 12, 2007, 6:07 p.m.
I claimed my dog, my cat, the weeds growing in my yard and that hot chick at the mall. I got a refund of $45,749.37!!!!! I hope they never find out I don't own a cat! lol!!suckas!!
Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)
protoham
April 12, 2007, 10:51 p.m.
This is all great stuff, I am glad we can have a sense of humor about Taxes and the IRS.
Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)
ofcmgr
April 12, 2007, 11:39 p.m.
Mark Twain once said ; The difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector is that the taxidermist takes only your skin.
Plus remember this - it's becoming more and more difficult to support the government in the style to which it has become accustomed.
Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)
fotoman1133406
April 13, 2007, 12:56 a.m.
Guys,
Hey, why not, government "wastes money like crazy...so why not "the little guy" get some.