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Man Eats At Taco Bell, Loses Carbon Neutral Status »

Posted by: ind06 2 years, 6 months ago

A man lost his much-coveted "carbon neutral" designation Sunday, eating a Cheesy Bean and Rice Burrito, a Carne Asada Steak Taquito, and a Mexican Pizza. Sources said the man appeared "distraught" and also "somewhat gassy and bloated."

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Comments: 94
  • Avg rating: (+0/-4 -4)ind06
    ind06
    April 14, 2007, 2:45 a.m.

    Taco Bell is its own warming trend.

    • Avg rating: (+0/-2 -2)johnkamis64
      johnkamis64
      April 14, 2007, 2:46 a.m.

      Uh oh...I now sound like a Harley on Steroids!!!

      • Avg rating: (+5/-2 3)2sidestoeverything
        2sidestoeverything
        April 14, 2007, 3 a.m.

        Awwww damn I like Taco bell but for safety of our planet I will not eat the beans. LOL!

        • Avg rating: (+4/-0 4)fretslinger58
          fretslinger58
          April 14, 2007, 9:20 a.m.

          Add the fire sauce, and you have all three elements needed for disaster. fuel, oxygen, and ignition. ouch!

          • Avg rating: (+10/-0 10)1basque1
            1basque1
            April 14, 2007, 10:23 a.m.

            Cough cough, holds nose , exit building....

            !*_*! >>>>>>>>>

            • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)uncle-dave
              uncle-dave
              April 14, 2007, 10:58 a.m.

              I'm buying stock in BEANO.

              • Avg rating: (+7/-0 7)kctrixter
                kctrixter
                April 14, 2007, 11:21 a.m.

                Not only did eating at Taco Bell make this guy into a gas cow, but now there are more SUV's on the road cus nobody will drive with him.

                • Avg rating: (+2/-0 2)puffin
                  puffin
                  April 14, 2007, noon

                  The last time I was even in a Taco Bell was 1994 in San Fran.

                  • Avg rating: (+5/-0 5)UBCONFUSE
                    UBCONFUSE
                    April 14, 2007, 12:45 p.m.

                    As stupid people go, America must mystify people of other countries on how we could be so successful and such idiots at the same time. How some person could actually, really be depressed, down or ashamed of himself for farting as it was harmful to our planet! Give me a break here! Anyone that dumb needs to be taken out back and force fed Boston beans until he can fart to the musical score of Dr Zhivago.

                    • Avg rating: (+1/-1 0)airglide
                      airglide
                      April 14, 2007, 2:03 p.m.

                      There might be an opportunity here. If he were to sit in a tub full of water, he could have his own jacuzzi.

                      • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)dadesider
                        dadesider
                        April 14, 2007, 2:07 p.m.

                        I went to Taco Bell and had a "sneaky feeling"....... I hate that... Play "Misty" for me....

                        • Avg rating: (+8/-0 8)joemont
                          joemont
                          April 14, 2007, 2:52 p.m.

                          Ahhh C'mon Folks,

                          Can't everyone see the conspiracy here? Don't be duped by the NeoCons!

                          This is just another back alley, under the table, Fat Cat deal by Bush, Cheney, Halliburton and the NeoCons to steal from the American people and capture the entire Bean market for themselves and their rich friends. Otherwise why hasn't Bush closed our Borders? They are also violating Human Rights by using the cheap, under paid laborers from Mexico to harvest them.

                          Why can't you people see whats really going on?

                          LMAO

                          • Avg rating: (+3/-0 3)johnkamis64
                            johnkamis64
                            April 14, 2007, 3:17 p.m.

                            Remember that old Cajun rock song...

                            "Don't mess with my Toot-Toot???"

                            • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)vettenut
                              vettenut
                              April 14, 2007, 3:26 p.m.

                              We're all in trouble when a humorous post like this makes more sense than our Nobel prize nominated ex-VP!

                              He once said the internal combustion engine posed the greatest threat to the survival of the human species. But I guess he forgot about the latent dangers in Taco Bell fare......

                              Here's a follow-up thought/question--

                              If too many consumers of Taco Bell food face east while farting, will that slow down the rotation of the earth???

                              • Avg rating: (+1/-1 0)johnkamis64
                                johnkamis64
                                April 14, 2007, 3:34 p.m.

                                Nope,butt if they are out west they could start one Hell of a brushfire!!!

                                • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)johnkamis64
                                  johnkamis64
                                  April 14, 2007, 4:07 p.m.

                                  Actually, I must confess; at one time I was one of the Navys

                                  Top Secret weapons...I had a laser-etched "This side towards enema" across my lower back...the Captain had orders to use me to repell boarders...had special skivvies with a vent in back!!! At first sign of an enemy attack, they would stoke me with beans,sardines, Limberger Cheese and beer,have me do about 10 minutes worth of calesthenics,(Especially jumping jacks)and would send me running about the deck to find those who needed repelling.I added new ang gross emphasis on the phrase Blue Moon!!! I could sustain 25psi for about an hour... during one drill, a CPO wandered on deck smoking a cigar...

                                  talk about "Fire in the Hole"!!!

                                  They couldn't use Team Pyrestorm often, as we had a tendancy to burn out...After I made an ash of myself I was returned to "M" division.

                                  • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)truthiness
                                    truthiness
                                    April 14, 2007, 5:13 p.m.

                                    VIRUS ALERT: A Virus has forced me to reformat my harddrive. I am on this forum often. update your protection!!! this is not part of the humor thread.

                                    • Avg rating: (+4/-1 3)SlapALib
                                      SlapALib
                                      April 14, 2007, 5:16 p.m.

                                      The carbon footprint from my dad's a$$ makes Al Gore and the petrochemical industry combined look like saints.

                                      • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)johnkamis64
                                        johnkamis64
                                        April 14, 2007, 9:37 p.m.

                                        Not HALF as much as my vapor trail!!!

                                        • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)johnd7
                                          johnd7
                                          April 14, 2007, 7:40 p.m.

                                          He should have had a beef and bean combo. By having beef he would have remained carbon neutral by removing a prime source of ozone gas which seems to be cow flatulence.

                                          • Avg rating: (+1/-1 0)Searchbeam
                                            Searchbeam
                                            April 15, 2007, 12:15 a.m.

                                            Guys, you are forgetting to pay special tribute to the patron SCENT of farts, our Farter-in-Chief George, who boasts that he can fart at will!

                                            I bet you he lost all of his Carbon Credits!

                                            Rumor has it that they had to install special air filtration system at the cabinet meetings!

                                            Shotgun Dickie looks like he is ready to release a nasty one any minute!

                                            • Avg rating: (+1/-0 1)usmedic
                                              usmedic
                                              April 15, 2007, 1:08 a.m.

                                              LOOK:Eating MEAT is what makes your body give off carbon emissions, not farts from beans.(though an elephant can produce(fart) enough gas per day for a car to drive 20 miles) If any of you took chemistry in college, you know that no energy is lost or gained. Well the energy (carbon)in the animal meat transfers to our bodies when we eat it, and as we burn it off it becomes carbon emissions. Not to mention the gas burned to tranfer the lifestock and meat. That's what they meant.

                                              • Avg rating: (+0/-2 -2)johnkamis64
                                                johnkamis64
                                                April 15, 2007, 11:20 p.m.

                                                Houston; we have liftoff!!!

                                                'The sonic boom you DON'T wanna hear'

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