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Grocery-Store Worker Can No Longer Bear To Eat Food »

Posted by: ind06 2 years, 6 months ago

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THE ONION RADIO NEWS with Doyle Redland reporting: Pick 'N' Save stock boy Joel Melcher of Fleurescant, Missouri admitted today that his constant over-exposure to groceries has destroyed his taste for food.

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ind06

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Comments: 64

Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)
ind06
April 15, 2007, 4:44 a.m.
Joel's taste for drink remains undiminished.
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elll
April 15, 2007, 8:34 a.m.
He better not apply at an adult book store, it may shrivel up and fall off. Although he may get lucky and find a new one in a yard sale, he could take it home, wash it off...ya know.
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natashas
April 15, 2007, 10:04 a.m.
This is to funny!
Avg rating: (+9/-0 9)
BronxBomber
April 15, 2007, 12:46 p.m.
Maybe the real reason he quit is that he ate so much food, that he can't even fit through the front door anymore.
I mean 25% YO!
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Beeboppin71
April 15, 2007, 1:16 p.m.
I dated a telemarketer once who refused to talk. He wrote me a letter stating that he would never talk again.
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tehranchik
April 15, 2007, 1:16 p.m.
This is called the "pic n save" diet.
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freeky-d
April 15, 2007, 1:25 p.m.
Too bad religous pundits and political know-it-alls can't suffer from the same syndrome to save us all from their vile rhetoric.
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pacificmist
April 15, 2007, 4:49 p.m.
OK so now whhat he is never going to eat again?
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lfergie812
April 15, 2007, 7:24 p.m.
News flash---Joel Melcher of Fleurescant, Missouri after not eating food since he quit his job at the grocery has checked into the Fleurescant, Missouri Hospital weighing in at 84 pounds and still refuses to eat. Doctors insist that they'll get food down him even if it takes stuffing him like a turkey.
In another unrelated story, Kristie Alley has had no problem with an eating disorder.
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johnkamis64
April 15, 2007, 7:38 p.m.
Question is: will Kirstie be his eating coach???
If nothing else she can make him laugh and then the docs can use the feeder tube...
Avg rating: (+4/-1 3)
spikecwc
April 15, 2007, 10:36 p.m.
Great!!! But not. Pic N Save is NOT A GROCERY STORE!!!!
Avg rating: (+1/-1 0)
1basque1
April 17, 2007, 10:56 a.m.
Aaahhhhh, the joys of eating...Just made Fresh Strawberry short cake....Still warm....Yummy..
There are alot of things that we don't do ,but eating is what we don't miss out on !!