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World's Scientists Admit They Just Don't Like Mice »

Posted by: ind06 2 years, 7 months ago

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THE ONION RADIO NEWS: With Doyle Redland Reporting - Scientists from around the world convened at the University of Zurich today to formally announce that their experimentation on mice has been motivated not by a desire to advance human knowledge but out of sheer hatred for the little rodents.

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Comments: 41

Avg rating: (+1/-0 1)
ind06
June 2, 2007, 3:31 a.m.
Mice admitted that they weren't too keen on scientists either.
Avg rating: (+1/-0 1)
BronxBomber
June 2, 2007, 3:40 a.m.
Scientist's torturing mice.... Man! I can't think of anything so cheesy! It makes me want to squeak!
Those dirty rats!
>=o(
Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)
MacR
June 2, 2007, 4:18 a.m.
One mouse was heard to say to his friends.
"Yeah I replaced those raisins in that bread with my own brand". "That will show them scientists".
Avg rating: (+7/-1 6)
natashas
June 2, 2007, 8:39 a.m.
I hear mice are also upset about mouse traps so they let the ants in the house, lol!
Avg rating: (+7/-0 7)
zplan
June 2, 2007, 10:12 a.m.
They hates mieces to pieces.
SusanParrishComment has been removed: User banned.
Avg rating: (+3/-0 3)
ETproductions
June 2, 2007, 10:59 a.m.
Not true. I just read they've developed a vaccine to prevent bird flu in mice. No mention of extending it to humans.
Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)
2sidestoeverything
June 2, 2007, 11:05 a.m.
Now that the truth is out rodents all over the world have banned together and will be hiring the ACLU.
Avg rating: (+4/-0 4)
truthiness
June 2, 2007, 11:42 a.m.
Damn rodents. They started this whole thing with the plague back in medieval europe. what kind of a creature can carry a plague ridden creature around in its hair without getting sick? Kill the rodents! defend America from bio- warfare!
Avg rating: (+1/-0 1)
Amazing1
June 2, 2007, 2:20 p.m.
Yeah, well I don't think the scientists are really to blame here. If the mice had left the cheese alone it would have been one thing. YOu know how scientists are always into doing cheezy things and then to have the mice stealing it, it was too much. The mice got what they deserved.
MichaelRhodenteComment has been removed: User banned.
Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)
ontherock
June 2, 2007, 4:41 p.m.
Let's start a campain-- SAVE THE RODENTS
Do testing on pigeons!!!!
How about sea gulls????
They are just as obnoxious as rodents!! Heck they're rodents with wings!!
Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)
youqueef
June 2, 2007, 5:39 p.m.
why don't scientists just test on idiots...we know how they don't like them either. With all the useless easter bunny talk...I think we have plenty of canidates.
Avg rating: (+6/-0 6)
youqueef
June 2, 2007, 6 p.m.
Who is mensa?
ya i guess your right, but neener neener like mice i can tell there breed in mass numbers.
Avg rating: (+1/-0 1)
ETproductions
June 2, 2007, 8:18 p.m.
Renown Hindu Scholar Dr. Iama Sosarymice has determined the there is no problem here. Deceased scientists reincarnate as laboratory mice, and deceased laboratory mice come back as research scientists, thus fulfilling the great and necessary karmic chain.
Avg rating: (+17/-8 9)
zaphod
June 2, 2007, 10:30 p.m.
One must only read "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" to understand the true manifestation of mice in the human plane of existence.
Avg rating: (+2/-0 2)
23nature
June 2, 2007, 10:58 p.m.
One of the more interesting sets of comments on a story. Then again I'm fairly new to this blog! ;{}