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Posted by: einrad 2 years, 6 months agoBut how are we ever going to teach our children that it is not alright to hurt others when we continue to hurt them as well? What sense does that make? Sure it temporarily relieves the situation but you have just reinforced to your son that hitting is ok to do, especially to them. Do we really want to set that kind of precedent for our children?
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einrad
I am the Executive Editor at More4kids, an online parenting magazine and blog http://www.more4kids.info.) We created More4kids.info July last year. Why ...
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Comments: 69
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gorillavitaminsComment has been removed: User banned.
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DianeCorriette
June 8, 2007, 8:41 a.m.Couldn't agree more. What right do we have to hit and then tell them they shouldn't!!!
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vidman04
June 8, 2007, 10:14 a.m.HA! More kids and society would benefit if more of them had their butts whupped at least once a day....most today have no respect for anyone and think they can get away with murder...
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korgman
June 8, 2007, 10:43 a.m.We have the right because we are parents. Same as we have the right to scold and hollar at them while at the same time telling them not to talk back and get mouthy with us.
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Harbeas
June 8, 2007, 11:39 a.m.This article looks a lot like a Dr. Spock how to raise your child book. Spanking should be a last resort but you are NOT teaching your child it's ok to hit other people, you are teaching your child that there are consequences when you misbehave. A time out space, ridiculous concept. Confining a child to his room, another ridiculous concept(he/she has a tv, dvd, xbox, etc). Your first thing would be to take away some privaleges(making sure they understand why). If that fails, take away some more and tell them that they next form of punishment would be a spanking, Not a beating!
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Dionys
June 8, 2007, 12:25 p.m.Cutting someone's finger off is how to teach adults not to shoot others by experiencing how a little hurt feels.
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koranagirl
June 8, 2007, 11:51 a.m.the problem with the article is that it just doesn't work. never will. the article will only work for quiet, sensitive children that listen well, which is about 5% of kids. most kids are active, stubborn, extremely bright and have a whole lot more energy than the adults they are dealing with. the solution? after having been raised with 4 brothers and now i have 3 sons and a daughter to raise (she's soooo much waaayy easier, my savior!), i've taught sunday school for 20 years, girl scouts now for 5 and i often have 10 or more kids around me--and they're all quite intelligent, full of energy and stubborn, the most effective method i've found is this: talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and lecture and advise and lecture and advise--over and over and over again. don't watch TV--ever!
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koranagirl
June 8, 2007, 11:55 a.m.since most work is done in the kitchen, have a good table or counter top or island space where the kids can do homework, make arts and crafts work on a laptop and then do your talking and talking and talking. that doesn't mean your kids won't ever have arguments or get into fights, but it does help a whole lot and you don't have to hit them, which never works IMO. my kids say i don't get mad, but i do get "a tone", which i think is really funny. in any case, you just have to be there all the time for them and please skip the tv and long hours on the internet or whatever takes you away from them
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palamaComment has been removed: User banned.
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profitweaver3
June 8, 2007, 12:36 p.m.I think that spanking is unecessary. Firmness is all that should be needed. I have to say that all kids and all situations are different, so no one answer will suit all.
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rwrnae
June 8, 2007, 12:49 p.m.Depends on the kid. If I had a teacher who I knew wouldn't spank, I paid no attention to them for the rest of the year. Only fear of the paddle could get my attention. Kids are like dogs except dogs are slightly easier to train. Some are like golden retrievers, a firm word is enough to get their attention; some are like labradors and occasionally need a slap on the butt; a few are like Chesapeakes and require a 2x4 between the eyes to get their attention.
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harriermech
June 8, 2007, 12:53 p.m.I have two kids spanking worked on my son but not my daughter so I think it depends on the kid. I was spanked as a kid by my parents and even by the school. Wow what a concept. I think we need to bring back the wooden paddels at the schools. Let the teachers get some control back in the classrooms. Spankings do work just not every misdeed deserves a spanking.
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itsme2
June 8, 2007, 1:13 p.m.So how do you tell a 18 month old not to touch the stove without smacking her hand?
And dont give me that tell her no and move her away crap, she will just go right back to the stove the next chance she gets.
As kids get older and have the bility to reason, then you can start talking to them but they need to understand no means no when they are little.
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Obtruder
June 8, 2007, 1:27 p.m.Child development is about matching the severity of the punishment to the severity of the infraction of the rules.
I speak of rules, because children under 5 are very concrete in their understanding of the world around them.
I have seen plenty of parents try to talk their children through issues at a young age, and then wonder why they enter school unsocialized.
Spanking is an effective way to get their attention until they are old enough to understand cause and effect.
Better to have a few tears shed than to have to listen to a parent suffer and anguish over their child who was run over by a garbage truck or fell into a backyard swimming pool.
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nall306
June 8, 2007, 1:35 p.m.itsme2 makes a really good point. i was spanked probably up till 9 or 10. after that mom got smart and started 'really hurting' me!! grounding, taking away my tv, games, books and basicaly everything I enjoyed as a kid. that hurt worse than any old spanking! don't get me wrong if my brothers and i were spanked, we did something pretty bad it wasn't a spanking but a BUTT WHUPPIN!!!! and well deserved :)
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simonsez
June 8, 2007, 1:37 p.m.That's why God padded those little butts.
Seriously, I spanked my kids back in the sixties. After one time, it was generally enough to threaten them with it.
Discipline is important to learn at an early age. It's no wonder teachers can no longer maintain control in the classroom.
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lovelytxwoman
June 8, 2007, 1:38 p.m.Yet's see we got spanked but managed to get through life without hitting or hurting anyone around us! Why because one we did not want to get a spanking again nor the lectures our parents would give nor the anger of our parents when they had said do not do that AGAIN! Hmmmmmmmm,it worked I have not forgotten what I did to get the spanking! My children were also spanked and now are not in jail nor have they beat anyone! We should worry more how not using this method of last resort leaves children with an attitude of freedom to do anything they like! That's why kids today are rude mouthy brats! No respect for anyone but themselves! Thanks to parents who worry everything especially this issue!
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ru4me
June 8, 2007, 1:57 p.m.Spare the rod...
Our society is too self-centered and lazy to make our children behave.
We are too fat to get up and we let our children get away with too much!
The children rule the home and tell the parents what they think.
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7734
June 8, 2007, 2:32 p.m.Let's see.
Since recorded history it has been proven if you want to reinforce a behavior you can do it two ways.
1. Rationalize the behavior and explain in detail how such behavior is either good or bad and either accepted or not accepted by society at large. Now this should really work with a three yr old who doesn't understand 10% of what you are saying and if he/she did wouln't care one iota.
2. Take the offending one, explain in detail how their behavior is totally unacceptable, lay them over your knee, spank their bottom (not BEAT, but spank), tell them if they persist in said unacceptable behavior another spanking will be forthcoming, this time without benefit of explanation (since they don't care about the explanation anyway).
Now, over the ions #2 has probably caused more wayward children to reconsider their actions than #1.
Simple premiss: I do wrong - it hurts. I do right - it doesn't hurt.
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7734
June 8, 2007, 2:32 p.m.I commit a crime - I hurt (assuming a bleeding heart jury and judge aren't crying for the f'n crimminal)
I do not commit a crime - I do not hurt
What's hard to understand about all this?
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FordTruck5Speed
June 8, 2007, 2:47 p.m.Good God, what liberal, touchy feely, nauseating spew this is. Spanking your kid because he's acting like an imbecile doesn't teach him violence. It never has, and it never will. If you regularly beat him to within an inch of his life, OK, that might turn the little jag into a psychopath. But spanking? When does this garbage end?
I can't tell you how many kids I've seen running around the mall/store/PNC Park, wherever, smart-mouthing their parents, annoying others, throwing/breaking things whoose parents spend 20 minutes "solving it with words." THese are the kids I deal with in my line of work that are freakin' out of control. Crack him on the hind end once in a while to FIX THE BEHAVIOR. Guess what? Once said child realizes you're serious, he'll figure out that misbehaving is a bad idea. When he's more mature, he'll make the connection that it's just the right thing to do.
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puffin
June 8, 2007, 2:50 p.m.Gosh. There were times when I would have traded an endless "talking-to" for a spanking.
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coolwhip
June 8, 2007, 3:05 p.m.Two sites for the people who love their children and show it by not using violence:
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jumpmaster
June 8, 2007, 3:13 p.m.To parents who are against physical punishment:
Start parenting! Deal with your little brats!
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Miami_med
June 8, 2007, 3:18 p.m.There is a difference between hurting and injuring, and it is very important. Teaching someone that it hurts to break the rules is significantly different than actually injuring them. Causing injury to your kids is unacceptable, but causing temporary pain is not. Atleast here in Florida, that is also the law.
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