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Help! My Husband is Addicted to Porn! (Video) »
Posted by: dan-and-jennifer 2 years, 3 months agoSome people take a firm stand against porn, while others use porn and erotic movies to enhance and spice up their sex lives. And these days, internet pornography is easily accessible to those interested, and it's very easy to hide from those who are against it. No more hiding magazines under your bed...
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dan-and-jennifer
"Question Everything!" - The voice of change for all things love and sex :-)
This Story is Archived and Commenting is Closed
Comments: 80
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capecoralMComment has been removed: Retracted by user
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capecoralMComment has been removed: Retracted by user
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dan-and-jennifer
Sept. 13, 2007, 2:58 p.m.Is it RIGHT to give your partner and ultimatum if they refuse to stop watching porn? Can you trust them even if they agree to stop?
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Charlson
Sept. 13, 2007, 4:03 p.m.I watch porn and I feel nothing's wrong with it. My wife does not watch porn with me (she did at first but decided it wasn't her cup of tea) but is not judgemental about it. She realizes that our marriage is secure and she has nothing to fear from my watching others having sex on videos or on the net. She understands that I have more of a sex drive than she does and if I didn't watch porn and masturbate I'd be a miserable person to be around. We've reach an accomodation and are both happy with it. That is what others have to do - reach an accomodation with each.
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AbuAmirah
Sept. 13, 2007, 4:11 p.m.Better that he watch porn, than acting it out with another dame. Hell, watch it with him. You might see something you like
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dan-and-jennifer
Sept. 13, 2007, 8:02 p.m.Now that you mention it... I have seen a direct correlation between the number of times we have sex and amount of time Dan spends in the shower! :-)
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Planeteer
Sept. 13, 2007, 8:47 p.m.I think porn has something to do with unfulfilled dreams of a male or a female? Something they can't find in their spouse so they look elsewhere for fulfilment, or grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Anything new is exciting!
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Harbeas
Sept. 13, 2007, 8:59 p.m.There is nothing wrong with watching people having sex with one another. Some porn however is raw and not very good. However, if you don't like porn so be it, but stop trying to force your views on someone else. As long as he is not obsessing about it leave it be. It doesn't mean he loves you any less.
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tchef
Sept. 13, 2007, 9:10 p.m.I think that the bigger issue here is the fact the you can't change a person. If you can't except them as they are your relationship is doomed. That's why ultimatums don't work, the minute that you force change you will breed resentment.
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KYRed
Sept. 13, 2007, 10:23 p.m.What's wrong with mechanical sex? I see some interesting videos of women having sex with machines lol. Seriously, I know a couple who decided to watch porno videos to spice up their love life. It didn't work They felt dirty. Whatever.
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greenmac
Sept. 13, 2007, 10:40 p.m.Yes .....I like porn once in a while....good porn that is ...erotica. If I was addicted to violent movies....now that to me woukld be problem. Assault with a friendly weapon...is more my style...LOL
Why is it that we see sex as a disgusting act....it is a normal act....stimulating...healthy
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2sidestoeverything
Sept. 14, 2007, 12:06 a.m.I think the first thing this woman needs to do is ask herself what is it about porn they she finds disgusting. The word disgusting sounds more like a judgment about porn or the people in. It sounds like this couple needs to talk openly and frank about sex and the porn. She can't change him and he can not change her they need to come to a happy medium or step away from each other. If there is true love and respect here then they will be able to work this out.
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evelyna
Sept. 14, 2007, 12:58 a.m.I find it amusing that men will spend so much time dating and even marry someone-only to completely ignore the person and stay tuned into porn all of the time.
I think it is rude and ignorant to do this in someone's presence. I don't know what is worse-the over sexed or the impotent. Both will never think they have a problem.
My girlfriend's husband had a picture of a hot babe in a bikini on his computer wallpaper. I switched it to a hot looking construction guy. Of course hubby dear was not pleased.
If I am dating someone I will only agree to watch porn if they include porn with two men doing it. None will take me up on that so I don't have to watch it.
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aceofspades1Comment has been removed: Hard Banned
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Candy209
Sept. 14, 2007, 3:23 a.m.I love wathching erotica with my husband. We have been together for twenty years, and our sex life has never been better. I know that he has more hardcore stuff that he likes to watch on his own, but I would never tell him that he could not watch it. Erotica (soft core porn) can be tasteful and romantic. Sorta like foreplay. These days, partners don't tell one another what they like when it comes to sex. If they did, maybe there would be fewer breakups and divorces.
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flyrod
Sept. 14, 2007, 8:08 a.m.Seems this subject has come up here before. I still don't see this as a viable method of enhancing your relationship. If you have to rely on outside stimulus to enrich your personal relationship with your spouse there is something wrong. However, the fact that you are watching porn repeatedly tells me that there are other psychological issues and you are just using your relationships as an excuse.
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blksentra2
Sept. 14, 2007, 8:45 a.m.I've never realized that violence is far more acceptable than sex in our society. Of course when you get old enough, it becomes the other way around.
How silly is that?
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CitizenJ
Sept. 14, 2007, 10:32 a.m.Sex is a vitally important human activity and sexual desire is a natural feeling given to us by God. I believe people who think consensual sex is bad are oppressed. I used to watch porn and masturbate frequently even though the Mrs. and I were having sex regularly. Then she hit her sexual peak a couple of years ago. Now, it's like living with a porn star and I rarely feel the need to "touch myself". Porn can fill the gap when one person is more sexual than the other. I think it kept us together even when I was happy but not FULLY satisfied.
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cleare
Sept. 14, 2007, 11:11 a.m.i'm tired of all this "poor"nogrophy. i wanna see some "good"nogrophy. an old joke, but apt.
most american porn is designed for men, more women would watch if their interests and perspectives were better represented.
i just had an opportunity to spend some time in europe and their porn is better, more interesting to women...less coy...more atmospheric...and just as graphic as our XXX & XXXX...and it's available at no extra cost on cable TV. kinda startling to be channel surfing with mom and suddenly see graphic porn. european actors are better looking, more fetish inclined and can actually act. of course, europeans are a whole lot less repressed sexually than americans.
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jnd4ever2004
Sept. 14, 2007, 11:21 a.m.I have seen couple of porn, theres too much talk than the actions...sometimes it bores us or they are looking or acting stupid that dont look so porn-y ..... I am good looking but not too sexy like those girls.. but i do know how to satisfy my man.. sometimes i don't like it when my man is watching porn or on the computer looking at other chicks or talking to them...
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jimdoze
Sept. 14, 2007, 11:45 a.m.The addictive behaviour, in this instance, sounds like it is reinforced by other deep-seated intrapersonal and interpersonal issues. If the guy is motivated to preserve his relationship, he should seek help. It could also be (but much less likely) that she is doing something that sends him "under cover". If she is fully confident that she is not a cause, then she should force the issue and, if no resolution in sight, move on.
I was married to someone who saw fit to begrudgingly bestow her graces on me maybe once a year... and I am no slob. (I have no problem dating very attractive women 25 to 30 years younger... not for money either... 'cause there ain't none left.)
Needless to say, porn became an outlet. The one negative I often wonder about is that maybe it allowed me to tolerate a situation that would have been best (even for the child, who is now in college) dissolved much much earlier.
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SAAB7699
Sept. 14, 2007, 11:48 a.m.I see nothing wrong with porn as long as it is being
demonstated by one or more consenting adults(human,
only please).I wouldn't make a spectacle of myself
if I used it but I wouldn't hide in the closet either.
I think the affect of pornography on an individual
depends on that person's frame of mind. As long as your
head is in the real world,No problem by me.
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flyrod
Sept. 14, 2007, 12:32 p.m.I must be missing something.....All these people using porn to supplement their libido. Let me see if I have this right. Most of you are using porn to enhance a sexually inadequate relationship. Maybe, the problem isn't your partner but you. Use your imagination, be romantic, take your time and most of all be patient. Porn is not an answer whether you're addicted to it or not. It might even be part of your problem (Expectations that cannot be fulfilled leads to frustration.)We're not talking about an open society frame of mind but a problem between two people. I don't care how old you are or how long you've been in the relationship. Your partner will respond if you make them feel special and intimate. Now that's about as deep as I can get. Will someone please get me a beer and show me something naked?
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