This story is archived

Empathizing With a Wife Beater? »

Posted by: dan-and-jennifer 2 years ago

Is domestic violence ever justified? Do you think that you could ever relate to hitting someone with a frying pan?

Read Full Story at askdanandjennifer.com »
Submitted By:
dan-and-jennifer

"Question Everything!" - The voice of change for all things love and sex :-)

This Story is Archived and Commenting is Closed

Comments: 75
  • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)jimdoze
    jimdoze
    Nov. 13, 2007, 2:25 p.m.

    Never!

    • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)tchef
      tchef
      Nov. 13, 2007, 3:37 p.m.

      If it was a one time occurrence that would be one thing, but if you find yourself in this situation time and time again, it's time to leave. If your wife is making you feel like the only choice you have is to react with violence I would say that's a pretty clear sign that the relationship isn't going to work out.

      • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)JhnKroeger
        JhnKroeger
        Nov. 13, 2007, 4:22 p.m.

        I think about it all the time, but never would I do it.

        • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)Harbeas
          Harbeas
          Nov. 13, 2007, 8:03 p.m.

          Physical violence is only justified when you are defending yourself against physical violence! Verbal abuse is not justification for physical abuse.

          • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)canadianrancher57
            canadianrancher57
            Nov. 13, 2007, 8:17 p.m.

            I did not read the artical but after spending the first 16 years or so of my life fighting with people I finally got clued in on the hurt I was causing people. I would still resort to fighting today but only if truely threatened, but as for beating your wife that ranks right up there with things like rape or beating kids there is no place in society for this type of behavior, well not in my world any how.

            • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)DonnieJack
              DonnieJack
              Nov. 13, 2007, 8:27 p.m.

              Men who hit women are the lowest of the low!

              • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)DonnieJack
                DonnieJack
                Nov. 13, 2007, 8:28 p.m.

                Can someone please tell me how to change my nickname on here?

                • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)AmericanIdiot
                  AmericanIdiot
                  Nov. 13, 2007, 8:31 p.m.

                  Sometimes violence is very effective help for achieving desired results. Against women, it is not very effective, they are often false, spiteful creatures. They will get their revenge, even if it takes years. Generally, a beating that requires more than one application will only increase resentment. In that case it is better to kill or imprison the offender. If the goal is to influence behavior, the only guaranteed way to do that is to convince the other that what you want is really what they want. That falls more under the category of brainwashing. Women are tricky creatures. If anyone finds a truly efficient way of controlling their rampant tongues, please share it with suffering humanity. You will be saving lives.

                  • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)DonnieJack
                    DonnieJack
                    Nov. 13, 2007, 8:32 p.m.

                    One more question that I consider to be important. I know someone who DAILY posts extremely racist articles on his own personal stupid blog which is published online in a small town. If I report the website here, can I get in trouble? I don't need any lawyers after me, but I'm a civil rights advocate and I think highly nasty remarks about blacks are disgusting. I'm white, but I detest racism! He even has a picture of Oprah on his site, making fun of her. Oprah is a wonderful woman who is kind to people of ALL races.

                    • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)DonnieJack
                      DonnieJack
                      Nov. 13, 2007, 8:59 p.m.

                      There's more: This lowlife I'm referring to (the racist) is also a homophobe, doesn't like Hispanics either, but will be the first to tell you he's "religious". He does not get paid for his stupid blogs and many people are against them; I'd like to know if he can be stopped from publishing such hatred EVERY SINGLE DAY.

                      • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)DonnieJack
                        DonnieJack
                        Nov. 13, 2007, 9:01 p.m.

                        Whoops - one more important thing: He thinks a little slap now and then between husbands and wives are perfectly acceptable.

                        • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)macabresg
                          macabresg
                          Nov. 13, 2007, 10:13 p.m.

                          No! Never should it be justified! Marital rape should also not be justified!

                          • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)RedstateLib
                            RedstateLib
                            Nov. 13, 2007, 10:35 p.m.

                            I can understand the fleeting desire to throw whatever is at hand at a mate on occassion. I cannot understand or condone actually doing it. You cannot spend that much time with another person and go through years of lifes emotional ups and downs without ever having a desire to strike out at them on occassion. However a fleeting impulse is different that actually committing the act. It's the same as biting your tongue when you are about to say something you shouldn't. Mature well adjusted people have impulses, they are just able to control which impulses they act on.

                            • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)PaganGodess
                              PaganGodess
                              Nov. 14, 2007, 12:51 a.m.

                              I have lived with men and in all my years, in rage or not, I have never been able to motivate myself to hit another person no matter how much of an azzhole they have been to me first and believe me some of them RICHLY deserved to have the carp beat out of them. Yeah, sure, I've thought about it, I've had the impulse but I can not and have not been able to carry out that impulse! I guess I am able to think before I do something utterly stupid!

                              • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)tryingtofindmyway
                                tryingtofindmyway
                                Nov. 14, 2007, 1:39 a.m.

                                The legal system can take it up the tail-pipe...if any living being, and I don't care if its a male, female, dog, cat, or plant violently goes after my goods...they'd better be prepared to eat a knuckle sandwich. The laws on domestic violence are absolutely foolish and biased. Women are very capable of inflicting real serioues physical harm, and men should have every right to defend themselves. I'm not taking the time to call 9-11 when I'm under attack. I'll call after I've taken the necessary measures to preserve life, health, and well-being.

                                • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)Commodore1
                                  Commodore1
                                  Nov. 14, 2007, 8:39 a.m.

                                  I'm sure the liberals think it's ok.

                                  • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)Charlson
                                    Charlson
                                    Nov. 14, 2007, 10:59 a.m.

                                    My wife and I have an understanding in our marriage: If I hit her, she's gone. If she hits me, I deck her. Not a lick in our marriage. (the violent kind of 'lick')

                                    • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)bart76bythebook
                                      bart76bythebook
                                      Nov. 14, 2007, 11:38 a.m.

                                      It's between a husband and a wife. Another woman should not get in the middle. Another man if he knows about it should talk to the man on the side. If he doesn't agree to change then you bring 2-3 others who know about it. And if he still doesn't agree to change then you have nothing to do with him and throw him out. I think a wife can leave her husband but should not divorce him. If he comes for her she should go with him. A woman should not try to correct her husband with her words but by her behavior when they see the purity/chaste and reverence/respect of her life. Divorce covers you in violence God hates it and so should we. It's better for a guy to walk away or sleep on the roof if he's living with a contentious woman. You make your bed you lay in it marriage means something it is not what the government has joined together its what God has joined together let no man seperate. The Congress has no business making laws respecting an establishment of religion

                                      • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)rwrnae
                                        rwrnae
                                        Nov. 14, 2007, 1:05 p.m.

                                        Sounds like the woman needed a good thumping.

                                        • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)river-rat
                                          river-rat
                                          Nov. 14, 2007, 1:48 p.m.

                                          I definitely can understand Jim's reaction. I'm not saying it is right or even okay but I have reacted in this way myself. My ex husband was very abusive and one time when he was beating me I grabbed a gun and in that instant I would have shot him if I could have gotten the safety off. I am not proud of that behavior but when someone is choking you and breaking your bones you will do anything you can to survive. Thankfully I am no longer in that situation but people who say why don't they just leave have not been in these situations. It is not so easy to just leave. You have to get away and find a safe place where your abuser can not get to you you can actually leave. Instead of judging why not try to help by offering a safe place or giving information on how to find one,

                                          • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)sumptuousdigs
                                            sumptuousdigs
                                            Nov. 14, 2007, 3:17 p.m.

                                            God knows kids never ask for this stuff to happen. All too often they witness events that they can't fully comprehend, yet later in life repeat themselves.

                                            Many adults are more selfish than the most spoiled child.

                                            • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)sheryllyon
                                              sheryllyon
                                              Nov. 19, 2007, 7:49 a.m.

                                              No one ever deserves to get hit. Ever. Men who batter are not doing it to punish the woman but to terrorize her so she lives in a state of fear and is more compliant and afraid to leave. Sadly, it is the only way they know of to keep a woman around. Women never, ever deserve to experience pain at the hands of these cowards.

                                              http://amuchbetterway.com

                                              • Avg rating: (+0/-0 0)kristophernorman
                                                kristophernorman
                                                Feb. 15, 2008, 9:21 a.m.

                                                I'd like to add here that I would love to see you. http://mp3dabest.com/pag/tag_d/

                                                All 75 comments are shown.