« Back to story ""Bittergate" Continues, As Voters Ask: Who Did Obama Bite?"

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Posted By ind06 1 year, 7 months ago in Humor
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"I mean, I always thought Obama was a gentleman," said John Ortiz, a Pennsylvania voter. "But man, biting a lady - not cool. Unless he's like a vampire or something. That, I mean, that's a medical condition, you can explain that."

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    ind061 year, 7 months ago

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    In related news: "McCain Admits Flesh-Eating Zombie Status In Effort To Compete With Obama's Vampire Claim".

    In more related news: "Hillary Clinton Flies Over Obama Campaign Stop On Broom, Writes 'SURRENDER BARACK' In Sky".

    In still more related news: "Obama Shocker! Vampire Claim Pure Hokum! Devastating Limerick To Be Written". ;)

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      Mdiar1 year, 7 months ago

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      I'll only vote for a were-wolf. That's why Paul is the answer, every full moon he gets double digits in a state!

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        Goppy1 year, 7 months ago

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        NoSpinDave bit me!!

        Oh wait.

        Now I remember ... I TOLD him to bite me.

        Never mind.

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          ind061 year, 7 months ago

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          So does that make you a zombie, or a werewolf?

          Or... A ZOMwolf!

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            Niimki1 year, 7 months ago

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            That sucks...now you have to get all those Rabies shots....

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          ETproductions1 year, 7 months ago

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          I really want to know who Obama took a bite of, because I will never vote for any candidate who is bitter.

          At least tell me it wasn't Ralph Nader!

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            uncle-dave1 year, 7 months ago

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            It was Mike Gravel!

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              ETproductions1 year, 7 months ago

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              Nader was just bait. I am so glad Ron Paul is off the hook.

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                ind061 year, 7 months ago

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                It can't be Nader because Obama apparently bit 'er. As for which woman "'er" refers to, I'm still guessing.

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                ind061 year, 7 months ago

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                (It was Mike Gravel!)

                I hear he's always stoned.

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            Beeboppin711 year, 7 months ago

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            Clinton is now claiming that Obama has bitten her.

            The Obama campaign has released footage of Hillary knocking down, straddling, and violently shaking an 80 year old man. She then reaches into his mouth, pulls out his dentures and proceeds to bite herself with them. When asked why she would do such a thing her reply was, "I needed those teeth marks to show America how childish and unprepared Obama really is!"

            When asked how he felt about the ordeal, the 80 year old man said, "It was great! I'd do it all again! I haven't been straddled by a woman in years."

            Obama campaign managers are claiming that Hillary raped the man. They are quoted as saying, "See? Just like Bill!"

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              icono11 year, 7 months ago

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              As a male, being straddled by a woman at any age after the onset of puberty is a very, very good thing.

              It is also very theraputic.

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              icono11 year, 7 months ago

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              The last time I got a chance to bit'er she bit back and we liked it. So I'm not some bitter biter that bit a bitter biter to be bitter. We bit to be to 'share the bitter sweet love' of not being bitter bit'ers. So we are bitter and better for it.

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                itsme21 year, 7 months ago

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                Say that 10 times fast! LOL

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                  icono11 year, 7 months ago

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                  "Say that 10 times fast! LOL"

                  WTF!?!? ROTFLMAO!!!!

                  It was hard enough to write one time and that's while I'm attempting temporarily sobriety;))))

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                chevydog1 year, 7 months ago

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                Personally I haven't bitten anyone for the last few weeks. It might be misconstrued. Does Obama autograph dental plates?

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                  ind061 year, 7 months ago

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                  That would be taking the bite out of context. Please recontextualize your bite accusations!

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                    chevydog1 year, 7 months ago

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                    Sorry. I'm out of context until a new shipment comes in.

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                  Tcaros1 year, 7 months ago

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                  Let's talk about how intelligent our intelligence services happen to be.

                  Where's Bin Laden? Anybody? Anybody?

                  How about from the "Mission Accomplished" Bush butt sniffing crowd?

                  Anyone? Anyone?

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