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Posted By ind06 1 year, 7 months ago in Arts & Entertainment
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THE ONION NEWS NETWORK - John McCain claims that if elected he would save the taxpayers millions by eliminating the Secret Service and kicking some all by himself.

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    ind061 year, 7 months ago

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    McCain was rushed from the stage as his upper body appeared to swell, ripping open his shirt and exposing skin some witnesses called "greenish". As he was taken from the hall, Senator McCain was heard to roar, "McCain SMASH!"

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      TemplarScribe1 year, 7 months ago

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      McCain's latest press release includes asking the Fantastic Four to police Iraq (saving us roughly $225 billion a year), Batman and Wonder Woman to take over in Afghanistan (the Bat Plane and WW's invisible jet will replace the Air Force and Navy jets), and Aquaman to replace the SEALs.

      Now, if we could just get Tony Stark to fly CAP over Korea...

      Great story, Ind06!

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        CRYMTYPHON1 year, 7 months ago

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        But wonder woman would have to wear one of those awful black head -to-toe burkas.

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          ind061 year, 7 months ago

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          But it would be a SKIN TIGHT black head to toe burka! YOW!

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      uncle-dave1 year, 7 months ago

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      I think if McCain and his wife, Cruella De Vil, team up with Chuck Norris they could really cut the Secret Service budget in half.

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        Rinty1 year, 7 months ago

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        That crew could cut 'anyone' in half and enjoy it.

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        ETproductions1 year, 7 months ago

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        McCain's tough unless his opponent throws an overhand punch at him. He can't block those.

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          TemplarScribe1 year, 7 months ago

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          Ouch! (:^D)

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          tehranchik1 year, 7 months ago

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          Jungle?---I think I see Predator 3, 4 and 5 here.

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            cowboygrandpa1 year, 7 months ago

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            Hahahahahaaahaaahaha.

            Naked and a knife. Hell he'd scare Obama to death. LOL

            I remember putting a cigarette out in the palm of my hand when some punks were talking trash. They looked at me like I was crazy and kind of eased away. LOL

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              Beau78901 year, 7 months ago

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              Even without the knife, the idea of seeing McCain naked scares the hell out of me.

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                TemplarScribe1 year, 7 months ago

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                CBGP: "I remember putting a cigarette out in the palm of my hand when some punks were talking trash."

                I did that once, too. 'Course, the punk still had it in his mouth when I did it. (:^o)

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                2sidestoeverything1 year, 7 months ago

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                OK I do not want to see a naked McCain with a knife in the jungle . . . please tell me this won't be televised. :~/

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                  globalwarmer1 year, 7 months ago

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                  I like his Idea for white house security, the sharp sticks and wires should make him feel at home. ;-)

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                    Endoscopy1 year, 7 months ago

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                    This is great comedy. I like it.

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                      itsme21 year, 7 months ago

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                      Well let me tell you I wouldnt want to be the one to cross that guy! LOL

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                        gmarlett1 year, 7 months ago

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                        Take that George W, you friggin draft dodging weenie!

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                          AntiNeoCon1 year, 7 months ago

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                          Funny, be sure to duck when he throws those soggy depends at ya!

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                            k21bl1 year, 7 months ago

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                            Go Johnny Go! Be sure to drink your Ensure!

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                              pc251 year, 7 months ago

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                              Funny stuff

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                                pookka1 year, 7 months ago

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                                Thank you for send invited massages to me for read this post.

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