Mom Can't Return To Work Because...'Men Kinda Suck' »
Posted By lenseview 1 year, 1 month ago in FamilyAuthor-mom, former hardworking journalist, wants to go back to work, only the order of things makes it difficult, including fact that men simply don't get it or can't do things most moms want for their kids--even progressive, understanding, near-wonderful men (like author's husband). Piece is smart, entertaining; despite rhetoric, author "gets
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lenseview
My favorite food is ice cream. I enjoy almonds and coffee and olives (normally not together). I continue to be a recovering TV person, with ...
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Radiofreeeuropa1 year, 1 month ago
I stayed at home to raise my daughter, (I'm a man). I am forever thankful I did. We could not afford to do the same for my second born and I truly regret not being able to find a way to do it. I know that I certainly approached this differently than a mom. There is nothing wrong with that. There are many traits men and women share, and many we don't. This is just the way it is. And I celebrate both!
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ZenAgain1 year, 1 month ago
Good for you. I guarantee your kids are richer for it and probably more prepared to face this world than her poor little fellow is going to be. (Your kids probably had/have more fun too)
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lenseview1 year, 1 month ago
I think it's easy to blame others for some of our own limitations. No doubt men and women approach some things differently, value things differently. E.g., to some (me) a kid not having the "right" costume isn't a big deal; to others it may be. Thing I like about the piece is it's honest and reflects a personal POV and, while it's pointed, author also seems to realize things are more nuanced than she might first think -- including fact that she brings imperfections to the table as well.
If she wants to go back to work she can -- and she's lucky she can afford not to; but, recognizing that if she does return to work certain things with her kids aren't going to be done "perfectly", she's got to make a choice. That's what
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lenseview1 year, 1 month ago
Most of us have to make choices all the time. You can't leave your kids and expect they're going to be raised exactly as you would have. On the other hand, you can balance your priorities and make reasonable compromises..
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toph19731 year, 1 month ago
Interesting. I would completely agree with you. Men and Women think completely differently. By thinking differently we go amout doing things differently. I's an excerise in futility to worry or to get upset that someone does something different;y. As long as it get's done correctly, who cares?
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ZenAgain1 year, 1 month ago
I think this rather lucid lady should be grateful that she has a husband that only 'kinda sucks' as opposed to having a husband at all. Especially one that can be a positive male role model to her son and others.
Why are men made to feel they are constantly inferior in terms of parenting skills to women? Look at any ad on tv regarding domesticity and I guarantee the male is portrayed as a bumbling idiot who can't press 'wash' on a washing machine.
Or, though I would hate it to be so, I can see poor Frank growing up without the pleasures of climbing a tree, riding his bike to school or going down to the pond with his mates to catch frogs all because his socks didn't match or he forgot to take an apple for the teacher. Self appointed super mummy would see to that. And worse still, when he turns to drugs or alcohol, it would be more than likely because he never developed coping skills. Mummy would have seen to that as well.
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Poulenc1 year, 1 month ago
Well, the mutation of traditional gender roles, which has occurred with slightly more than glacial speed over the last, oh, twenty years or so is still clearly a...work in progress.
It's not, I believe, that men CAN'T attend to the thousand details of child-rearing with the same skill and attention as women--it's just that, in most cases, they're reluctant to.
Why?
Because for many, it's still considered women's work--that is, work that occurs in the domestic sphere. These guys see themselves as public-sphere operators.
But time will do its thing and there'll be more parity between the sexes.
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chevydog1 year, 1 month ago
Expectations go both ways and are not always realistic. When our children were growing up, I made a special effort to avoid working overtime. The job helped, since it was not one for which stuff often HAD to be done NOW. Still I often found myself on the end of resentment that my 7:30-4:00 job (40 hrs/wk) was not a 9:00-2:00 one, so that I could take the kids to school and pick them up. But it just wasn't possible.
Running a household with growing children is a major-league job. Not every family has the fortune to have both parents working jobs that provide time flexibility; sometimes asking one is asking too much. With differing schedules and differing aptitudes/talents between parents, splitting everything 50/50 is neither realistic or sometimes desireable.
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lestparker1 year, 1 month ago
I think we could all not "suck" as much as we do (at least that is sure true for me).
Good story.
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quackpot1 year, 1 month ago
Three Cheers for quality day care!
With the first two kids, more time was spent organizing play groups and watching the play than anything else.
With the third, I have realized that day care is a civilized way to organize and supervise a daily play group.
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KISA452a1 year, 1 month ago
Yeah, sexism at it's best. Of course this article will probably win a Pulitzer...
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chevydog1 year, 1 month ago
"different" does not have to be a problem. But treating it as the equivalent of "worse" more often than not makes it one.
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marias1 year, 1 month ago
hi thats why i stay at home always did to race my daughter all the way no matter how many kids i would have got i bealieve somone should be home to race them . well that my belive latin style . latime people beleave there shouls be somone at home to race the kids all they way till the end thats the way were are same goes for the rest of our family we are just very close people. usa just want to work work work at take kids to day cares and babysitters. kids in usa dont get enough love from parents maria
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marias1 year, 1 month ago
oh one more thing us latin women from south america we make the best wife and lovers and everything elsee mothers to we are the best in all dam proud of it to maria
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marias1 year, 1 month ago
we latin women stay home make men happy and our family to everyone happy at home even pets maria
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