Disruptive behavior by autistic kids stirs furor
Posted By ap 1 year, 3 months ago in NewsFARGO, N.D. (AP) When a 13-year-old Minnesota boy was banned from church after parishioners complained about his behavior, it exposed a painful truth so politically incorrect that some people feel guilty just saying it out loud: Some autistic children can be annoying and disruptive in public.
The case of Adam Race and others like him has laid bare conflicted feelings — among both parents of these children and other people — over autistic youngsters in public places. And it has stirred debate over how much consideration one side owes the other.
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In the case of Adam Race, a judge agreed with a priest in Bertha, Minn., who said the 225-pound teenager was disruptive and dangerous, and upheld a restraining order barring him from services. The priest said Adam spit, wet his pants, made loud noises and nearly ran over people while bolting from the church after services.
Carol Race, Adam's mother, said the congregation's claims were exaggerated. But in a letter to the Star Tribune of Minneapolis, JoAnn Brinda of Crystal, Minn., said the Race family should have shown more consideration for others.
"I don't understand why families that have a challenged child who becomes loud and abusive remain at a service where all participants are quiet and contemplative most of the time," Brinda wrote.
Susan Duclos of Peoria, Ariz., who writes the conservative Wake Up America blog, called the Race story a "horrible situation all around."
"I have known a few people over my lifetime who have had to deal with autism with their children," Duclos said. "It's as frustrating for them as it is for the public."
Similar cases involving people with autism have played out in public recently. A California man was kicked out of a health club for screaming. A North Carolina boy was taken off a plane before takeoff after having a meltdown. A South Carolina girl was ordered out of a restaurant by the town's police chief for crying.
Syndicated radio talk show host Michael Savage added to the furor last month when he charged that doctors and drug companies are overdiagnosing autism, and said, "I'll tell you what autism is: In 99 percent of the cases, it's a brat who hasn't been told to cut the act out." Several major companies pulled their advertising from Savage's show.
Lisa Jo Rudy, who is the mother of an autistic child and writes and consults on autism, said Savage's words were "truly nasty and hurtful." At the same time, Rudy said the talk show host has raised awareness of some of the frustrations of parents of autistic children and the wider public, too.
Rudy said there are times when parents should not put their children in situations where they may be disruptive. "Some of these stories really are the ones where the general public can absolutely identify with the other side of the story," Rudy said.
Jason Goldtrap of Davenport, Fla., said too many people diagnosed with autism are out and about in public because of political correctness. Goldtrap, 40, has two nephews, ages 3 and 21, with autism, and said the older one has become so violent at times that the police have been called.
"I certainly sympathize with all the families who are in this situation," Goldtrap said. "But when we got away from the concept of institutionalization in America, we lost an important element of trying to maintain civility. There is a place for mental institutions."
Goldtrap added: "If it were up to me, he would be in an institution. My brother doesn't agree, and that's his prerogative." He declined to identify his brother, saying, "I don't want to start another argument."
Autism is a mental disorder that inhibits a person's ability to communicate and can include a host of complications. It varies widely in its severity. Some people are well-behaved; others are prone to outbursts or self-abusive behavior such as biting or head-banging.
A recent study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that one out of every 150 U.S. children over the age of 8 is autistic or suffers from a related disorder. About 560,000 Americans under 21 are believed to have autism.
Many parents say that their autistic children are largely misunderstood, that they can't help it when they act up, and that they need interaction with the public.
Barbara Coppo, whose 30-year-old son, Kenny, was banned from a Vallejo, Calif., health club for screaming, said Americans need to learn about living with autistic children.
"Autism may frighten people because so little is known about the disorder," said Coppo, who wrote a book about her son. "The cause has not been scientifically proven and the victims often act in ways society doesn't understand."
However, some parents wonder how much understanding can be gained in grocery stores, churches or other public places.
Nikki Wilmoth-Williams of Rockport, Texas, said certain high-traffic areas are off-limits for her autistic 14-year-old son, Zach.
"I'm an advocate for my child, but we all have to play on the same playground," she said. "It's not about clearing the playground so my child can be on it."
Wilmoth-Williams recalled one day after Sunday school class, when Zach licked several trays full of Oreo cookies set out for students. He was asked to find a different class.
"We're talking 50 to 60 Oreos. He didn't understand the effect it had on the entire class," Wilmoth-Williams said. "I had to make amends. I had to volunteer."
Rudy advises parents of autistic children to arrange forays out in public with care, which may mean five minutes in the grocery store instead of 45 minutes.
"Certainly there are cranky people in this world. If a mother glares at your child for something that's really pretty harmless, quite honestly that's her problem," Rudy said. "But if your child is going to have a meltdown, I don't think it's in anybody's best interest to bring the child along."
Joe Schmitt, a Minneapolis lawyer who has often defended employers against claims they discriminated against disabled employees, said people who object to certain accommodations may be viewed as insensitive to those with autism or other disabilities.
"They usually really do care, but they have to weigh the considerations of others," Schmitt said.
Schmitt said church officials in Minnesota knew they would be criticized for banning Adam, but took action after the two sides failed to arrive at a compromise.
"I'm not saying they were right," Schmitt said of the church. "But I would disagree with anybody who thinks they did that casually or it wasn't important to them."
Sandy Boyles, whose 18-year-old son, Walter, is autistic, said that when she began attending First Reformed Church in New Brunswick, N.J., she didn't bring him along, because in other churches he would run up and down the aisles screeching.
"She was afraid of being ostracized. I told her, 'So what? Bring him anyway,'" the Rev. Susan Kramer-Mills said.
Eventually, the small congregation revised its services to Walter's liking. Worship used to start softly and build to a crescendo. Now, it starts with more noise.
"I have to be careful because sometimes he'll do a fast movement or run," Boyles said. "But the other members aren't as scared as I am."
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onewayfarer1 year, 3 months ago
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I am the father of a seventeen year old autistic girl.Michael Savage is an idiot,plain and simple.Autism is not understood by anyone,doctors studying it included.Parents of teenaged and older autistic children are left on their own about how and when to handle the episodes experienced by their children in public.Because we aren't really sure what's going on with our children,there's no "fix" to a particular episode.My father thought all she was looking for was attention until we had to live with him while our house was being rebuilt after a fire;now he has a whole new appreciation of what my wife and I have been dealing with.There is no stock answer when you don't know what the question is.
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cyndie2001 year, 3 months ago
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onewayfarer: I completely agree with you! I have a 24 yr. old son on the Autism spectrum and it has literally torn our family apart. I have gotten called everything from a Saint to an enabler for being the only advocate my son really has. I don't mind being the target of people's ignorance, because I can handle it, but when he gets mistreated because he doesn't understand society's rules, it breaks my heart.And yes,Michael Savage is indeed an idiot, and once again is proving it to the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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tompsheridant11 year, 3 months ago
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I am the father of a seventeen year old autistic girl.Michael Savage is an idiot,plain and simple.Autism is not understood by anyone,doctors studying it included.Parents of teenaged and older autistic children are left on their own about how and when to handle the episodes experienced by their children in public.Because we aren't really sure what's going on with our children,there's no "fix" to a particular episode.My father thought all she was looking for was attention until we had to live with him while our house was being rebuilt after a fire;now he has a whole new appreciation of what my wife and I have been dealing with.There is no stock answer when you don't know what the question is.
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YOU WILL APOLOGIZE TO MICHEAL SAVAGE AND HIS MOTHER AND VISIT WITH THEM. TELL THEM YOU ARE SORRY FOR THE DISGUSTING COMMENTS YOU MADE ABOUT THEIR SON; NOT ONLY THAT YOU WILL APOLOGISE TO ALL FAMILIES WITH AUTISTIC CHILDREN. GOT IT??? GOOD!!!!
JUDGE JUDY TOLD ME TO TELL YOU THAT.
E-mail me at tomp1253@msn.com and tompsherodant1@aol.com. -
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lynpeterson4u1 year, 3 months ago
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http://www.propeller.com/story/2008/08/13/disruptive-behavior-by-autistic-kids-stirs-furor/?comment=3375879#comment_3375879
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"Autism is not understood by anyone,doctors studying it included" Although this is the official medical "party line" that so many people accept as fact without doing their own research, I have discovered that in actuality the opposite is true. There are MANY doctors who have studied autism and there is so much FACTUAL information available online and in books and DVD's. In the past year since my grandson developed Regressive Autism due to vaccines I have over a thousand hours invested in research, and we have been using the Defeat Autism Now nutritional interventions along with Original Limu and Coco-Biotic to address the digestive damages and nutritional deficiencies. My grandson has improved dramatically in the last six months due to this and he improves more and more each day. Autism in many thousands of children has been improved and YES REVERSED.
If you want to jump start your education quickly go to http://www.autismmedia.org/store.html for a selection of 2 hour DVD's that only cost 10.00. Otherwise you can educate yourself online for free and just stay up until 2AM getting answers like I have. DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO LEARN THE TRUTH SO THAT YOU CAN HELP YOUR CHILD OR GRANDCHILD. The rewards and results are worth every second of your time in finding ANSWERS. Please consider the fact that the Pharmaceutical Industry has $650 BILLION in annual sales and this powerful force has indoctrinated medical doctors to believe that "Austism is not cureable" and "Autism is not caused by their vaccines". There are over 650 Defeat Autism Now doctors who know otherwise and are treating autism every single day with success. The pharmaceutical indoctrination and brainwashing of medical doctors has resulted in a classic case of "The Blind Leading the Blind", but as the Bible says, "The TRUTH Shall Set You Free". -
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reidgator1 year, 3 months ago
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onewayfarer - you may have an autistic son, but that does not excuse your idiocy and bigotry.
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I am no fan of Savage, but, keep in mind, Savage had a severely disabled brother.
He knows all too well the problems and challenges the families face.
He just happens to believe that autism (as well as many other mental disorders) are overdiagnosed. Afterall, more cases = more medication = more $ for pharmaceuticals.
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memestryker1 year, 3 months ago
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My very close friend has an autistic boy, and he's just reached puberty. Quite frankly, I'm afraid of him and have been since he was about 11 and became tall and strong because he'll melt down and start running and screaming, just knocking over anything and anyone in his path. He's low-functioning, and he upsets people in public by endlessly sniffing them, so his parents have to really hang on to him. After years with the best specialists, he is able to say some words, but still doesn't seem to understand the concept of himself vs. others. If one says "Hi, Chuck" (not his real name), he'll respond "Hi, Chuck".
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His parents love him and don't wish to institutionalize him. I worry he will seriously injure someone or someone's pet. I especially worry about his mom, who is almost a foot shorter than he and who weighs about 70 pounds less.
He is relatively calm at home with noises he knows, as long as he's with a family member. When they go on vacation, they stay in housekeeping cottages so they can avoid meals out. They take turns staying with the boy while the rest of the family attends other functions.
It changes one's entire life to have a special needs child. I understand the parents wanting to enjoy a meal out or experience public places. And this child's siblings complain that parents won't let their children visit the other children because they fear for their safety, and friends and family don't visit often--or at all. It's a very tough situation, and one without easy answers.-
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LainieP1 year, 3 months ago
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One concern that you might bring up to his parents is that their son is himself a target for violence and/or law enforcement interference: If he sniffs the wrong person, he might find himself either dealing with the police (best case scenario) or being beaten by an enraged boyfriend, husband, or father.
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I feel for this family. Glad to know that they have concerned friends such as yourself! -
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hellbaby661 year, 3 months ago
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I work with literally thousands of kids every day. Some are mentally challenged and most are not. I have had to take a class of Autistic children, with their parents/ aides and let me say, it's not easy. God bless the parents and aides for their incredible patience. With that said, I have seen situations where I don't believe it's always appropriate to take Autistic children into public places. It really depends upon the individual. If an Autistic person has a violent outburst it's really difficult to calm him/ her. We have gone through extremes. I have been seriously injured trying to restrain a boy, who was actually quite large. I chose to allow myself to be injured so the boy wouldn't injure others or himself. I don't regret it but I am not happy about it. This is not a unique situation. This happens every day where I work. Is it fair to place others in harm's way just to appear sympathetic? I don't think it's fair that my arm was broken in two places and my wrist detached from my hand because a child decided to run into a crowded area filled with hundreds of small children. Should this boy have remained elsewhere? Absolutely. I do believe parents must exercise common sense with regards to those with Austism who do have outbursts. This isn't mean. Actually, they would be doing everyone a favor and not putting their child into a situation that is upsetting for them. It breaks my heart to see a child panicking because he/ she was taken away from what is normal to them.
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jordan111 year, 3 months ago
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Working with special needs children is daunting, & I understand the protectiveness of parents. I also understand the fear of society toward some manifestations of autism. Somewhere is middle ground, but that is also daunting to achieve without Autistic people being integrated into society in the first place.
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super-sunshine1 year, 3 months ago
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I agree with you. Interrogation is the key... but that truly takes community. One would figure that a church would be just the sort of community that would aid in this. This is a sad story of lack of compassion and thinking outside the box by an entire community.
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MoB20071 year, 3 months ago
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Regarding "Free Services": I am a mother of 3 Autistic boys. They are all at different points, on the spectrum, and require different kinds of special services. Both my husband and I are full-time employees who work more than 40 hour weeks. Health insurance does not cover Autism related services. PT and OT charge over $300 an hour once a week. Speech can be just as much. And finding a daycare provider, knowledgeable about children with Autism is very difficult and expensive to say the least. Families with Autistic children need help. My husband and I have no help with our children. We have lost all of our friends because they don't know how to help and won't ask. We have lost all of our family for the same reasons. And yet, we keep going.
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Regarding being "sterilized": My Twins were born at 29 weeks gestation. They were that early because their brother had passed away and was creating so many toxins that it induced my labor. There is a very strong link between premature babies and Autism due to the fact that it has been shown to be a deficit in the neurological connections (many Autistic children have sensory integration issues). Nobody had any idea/control about the situation (and no, my husband and I did not use fertility medicine/procedures). The boys were conceived naturally). It was what it was and therefore, my son's are who they are.
Regarding being Institutionalized: Just because my children are Autistic does not mean that they are not capable of achieving good grades. My children are mainstreamed and are very capable of keeping up better than average grades. Having Autism does not mean that you are dumb/stupid or mental in any way! It just means that you process the world in a different way. It means that your senses are heightened in some areas. In fact, there are many people, in history, who were Autistic, that we admire for their intelligence. Albert Einstein for Example. Just because my child becomes overwhelmed in the public doesn't mean that he should be locked up and medicated (which by the way, not all Autistic children are medicated. Most of us, with Autistic children prefer to work with our children through Diet and Natural means as well as the OT, PT and any other special services.)
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Ordover1 year, 3 months ago
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I think, though, that a church has a special responsibility. Would Christ have turned away anyone with any affliction? While no one should be endangered, the notion that one person is disrupting the "contemplation" of the others in a church and should be banned is anti-Christian.
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Bmars1 year, 3 months ago
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You are disruptive, so please keep yourself off the internet! So if your opinion is so intelligent, then so is mine! You are a disruptive person who sits in judgement. All people are disruptive in society... and no situation is perfect. Stop trying to act as if you care about anyone .... YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT YOURSELF... wow, I wish you would get hit by a car and become disabled, THEN WE COULD TELL YOU THAT YOUR WHEELCHAIR IS DISRUPTING MY AS I TRY TO WALK, you look pathetic, your hairs not combed, you should just stay at home and let people take care of you, oh no one to help, well Charlson said that that's what you should do , ask them where to get the money... OH I KNOW BETTER YET, LET'S JUST TAKE OUR "NOT NORMAL" KIDS AND JUST SHOOT THEM... I"d bet if you had a special needs child, that you would take them to the ocean and let them get lost so'd they'd drowned so YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THEM, BECAUSE YOU ARE SOOOOO SELFISH! We know people like you, you are the ones that abuse the helpless!
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jordan111 year, 3 months ago
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I don't think that's quite fair in this situation, & depending on the situation, in some cases aggressive acts are a real concern with some Autistic people. The boy who screamed in church & ran about wildly could have injured someone. All it takes is one time.
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I worked with a teen, 6'4" tall, who had 'meltdowns' where he screamed, ran wildly, banged furniture. Then came the day he literally ripped the top off of a piano, and began swinging it wildly while his teacher and her aide hid in a corner.
Each situation has to be considered individually, & the safety of people has to take priority. If an individual shows signs of being out of control, the only way to deal with that is remove him. No one knows how far someone who is out of control will go. No one. -
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icouldbewrong1 year, 3 months ago
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To begin, I might suggest the you brush up on your spelling and grammar. As for your comments regarding Christians, we have never claimed to be perfect. Christians are human too and are just as susceptible to frailties and failings as any other group in society. It doesn't sound like this church attempted to ban the child from the beginning. If you read the article, there were several compromises suggested by the church and rejected by the child's family. This is certainly a no-win situation for all parties involved and it saddens me that people are using the story to fuel their biased views.
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super-sunshine1 year, 3 months ago
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First I must just say that the second youtube video... OMGOSH... is he really suggesting that his parents, particularly his father are shining examples of how parents should be raising their children? There is a huge difference between a person with Autism and a person without it... we are assuming this man is normal... but he lacks compassion and knowledge of this disorder.
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carealot11 year, 3 months ago
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to super-sunshine,
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I watched the youtube video and I have also at various times listened to Michael Savage. One thing for sure, he knows a LOT about brain chemistry, he also has experience regarding family member with "special needs." The video doesn't do justice to him. Please, as suggested by kis9000, go to the website, www.michaelsavage.com and read all of the comments made by him and listen to what he said in its entirely (not the snippets sent out by the media), I think you will not only understand what he said but possibly agree with what he said. I'm not promoting him, just tired of seeing how people are being mis-represented so much in the media.
On the other hand, I have a niece who has autism. She is fairly high functioning so at times she just appears to be having temper tantrums, yet it is so much more than that. After years of working with children with disabilities, studying, dealing with people with traumatic brain injury (whether stroke, seizures, etc. the cause), I know that they can not always be "reasonable" nor can you always predict what will cause their "meltdown."
I don't necessarily think that they should be banned from flights, and other modes of transportation, however the parents or caregivers must take lots of special precautions before embarking on a trip. They must prepare the person by repeatedly letting them know what to expect and perhaps may even have to give some mild medication to relax them. (And I hate the idea of medicating children but sometimes it is truly required).
Lastly, I agree with the church's decision to ban this child. If the parents want him to be allowed back into the church they will have to do some serious behavioral modification techniques with him (and it will take lots of time), plus they may have to (yes), medicate him slightly. However, I must say this, something about the church services, (sounds- ie. too soft, loud, high pitched, etc., smells, colors, procedures) are disturbing this child. Perhaps it is too quiet for him. Something is dramatically affecting him. If the parents are tuned in to this child, they can figure some of it out. (Perhaps another church style would better suit him).
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globalwarmer1 year, 3 months ago
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I feel for the parents and children. I have in-laws with autistic children and we have to prepare the house before they come over and lockup just about everything. The 12 year old boy is small and thin and is mostly harmless but the 6 year old girl is built like a chinese gymnast and is very powerful for her size, she can be a real sweetheart but she can be very harmful as well, I sadly don't trust her in a room alone with my 5 year old daughter but I don't believe they should be locked up like animals either.
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tkyrchncs1 year, 3 months ago
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It is kind and generous of you to accommodate these children in your home. Requiring the general public to accommodate them in public places is a different matter. You say that you are afraid for your own child with one of these children; what of the other parents in this church? What of the frail elderly? My Mom totters along at a snail's pace with a cane. Anyone, regardless of mental state, that threatens to topple HER over is going to be stopped by ME, so if you don't want that kind of problem then keep control of your children or leave them somewhere else.
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super-sunshine1 year, 3 months ago
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"Wilmoth-Williams recalled one day after Sunday school class, when Zach licked several trays full of Oreo cookies set out for students. He was asked to find a different class.
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"We're talking 50 to 60 Oreos. He didn't understand the effect it had on the entire class," Wilmoth-Williams said. "I had to make amends. I had to volunteer.""
When an institution knows that they have a special needs child(ren) or adult(s)... it is in their best interest to educate themselves on how to provide a safe and fun environment for all. This really isn't as hard as this church has made it out to sound. I have worked for several years with people with mental retardation, autism, and serious mental health disorders and great pleasure can be found as well as provided with only a few minor adjustments to the plan. BUT the key is compassion and community. -
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edtea20001 year, 3 months ago
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The failure here is the Catholic Priest. What happened to the power of healing? Jesus would have prayed over this man child and healed him a long time ago. Priests need to stop thinking with their genitals and start doing more of God's work! A cure needs to be found for autism so children may grow normally. Autism locks children's minds and they are out of touch with reality. A study found that autistic people's minds had more white brain matter. Science needs to find cures for autism and other defects since Priests are unable to do so. Michael Savage is an idiot!
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a_mom1 year, 3 months ago
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As the mother of a high functioning autisic child I count myself truely lucky. My son went to church services but never Sunday school and he attends public school as well. My husband and I see how much harder it could be on our family. My son does talk and can read as well as do basic math. He is not on any medication and we hope he never needs any. He's baiscally well behaved, but there are few times he gets upset and thats when we as parents take him away from the situation. We stay involved with his education and volunteer when needed. Parents and family members need to get involved as much as possible. We coach a challenger league softball team, and our other kids help. There are so many different types of autisum but unless other people know what they are they will never try to understand. I guess what I'm saying is if you as the parent see your child starting to get upset remove him or her from there. It's not always easy but isn't your child worth it.
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TweekerchickQC1 year, 3 months ago
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I worked with an autistic kid for awhile.
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I miss that kid everyday. He was a brilliant child, and he was making leaps and bounds with his communication. It's the hardest thing in the world to work with those kids, I can't imagine what those parents go through.
I was afraid at first too, but he was a sweet, gentle kid.
It still makes me sad when people don't even try to understand. -
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Hemus1 year, 3 months ago
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I sympathize with these parents. I have a 21 year old daughter going through the same. There is amounting evidence that Autism could be connected to Lyme decease and other confections. Of course mercury, other toxicities and environmental factors contribute as well. The manifestation of all of these phychiatic problems is due to these physical deceases. For more on this you can go to http://www.lymeinducedautism.com/.
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Naturally most of the “BIG MEDICINE” trained psychiatrists do not have a clue about the connection between phychiatric deseases and physiological conditions and infections. -
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elb04041 year, 3 months ago
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have we as Americans become so self involved that even a man of God can not be tolerant of the less fortunate. i have a really hard time with the idea of organized religion in its current state. yes i do believe in God, and the main requirement from Him is to keep Him in our hearts, not brick and mortor.
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for someone that "preaches tolorance and love and understanding" to be the exact opposite is beyond belief and needs to be removed from his post. sure autistic people can be difficult, but who needs the love and support more than a child with problems.
all of the congregation is going to stand before God and have to answer for what they have done and this will probably be the most difficult for any of them to explain. "Why did you expel one of MY chosen children from My house?"
the Bible says that only He is to pass judgemnet on people, not we.-
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Daniele19691 year, 3 months ago
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Here here ELB0404!! Not that I'm as religious as you sound, I agree with you. This family is going to church to celebrate God and the church doesn't want them there?! That really is too bad. You call it "judgment," I call it Karma!! You get what you give. The priest and his congregation will get back what they have given to this family dealing with so much already.
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carealot11 year, 3 months ago
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If I were in the congregation, I would not be worried that God would judge me harshly for the decision the church made. The story said, parents refused to try compromising on anything in-between. Where was their (the parents), Christian compassion and concern for the welfare of their "sisters and brothers" in the congregation? Even a small person with autism can seriously hurt someone during a "meltdown." Let's be real, if you were in the congregation with your small children in danger, would you want this boy to be ousted, or would you just leave? Either way, would you come week after week if this child was allowed to stay and continue with these behaviors? Be honest!
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aroseg781 year, 3 months ago
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As the mother of a little boy with autism, this article really disgusted me. Although I agree that there is a time and a place for everything (and some places are not appropriate for autistic children prone to outbursts), how are our children supposed to learn appropriate public behavior if we do not bring them out in public! I would never bring my son to a fancy restaurant, but I will bring him to kid-friendly places like Friendly's or Red Robin. If he has a tantrum and I take him out of the restaurant, the only thing he learns is that screaming will get him out of any situation. If I remain in the restaurant and try to calm him, I am teaching him a valuable lesson. Although I know our kids with autism sometimes make other peoples experiences less enjoyable out and about, I think it's a small price to pay to try to teach these kids how to be responsible and respectful members of society. What's the alternative? Is it to keep people on the autism spectrum locked in our houses or in institutions? What kind of life is that? If your life has never personally been touched by autism, be thankful. And be a little more understanding when you see a parent struggling in a restaurant or on an airplane with an autistic child. It could be worse...you could be that parent or you could be that child with autism.
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cursedandblessed1 year, 3 months ago
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The priest was tolerant. However, according to the video, the boy was urinating in the church. Can anyone find this acceptable, autistic or not? The church offered solutions that were dismissed by the parents, and most churches have more than one mass, perhaps a less crowded mass would have been more conducive to the very large 225 lb teenager's behavior??
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I would be very afraid of an out of control 225 lb person, autistic or not. I think that is the reality. Most certainly the teen and his family have rights, but where do their's end and mine begin? -
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sprice20001 year, 3 months ago
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As a mother of a 7 year old child with a high functioning autistic spectrum disorder (PDD-NOS) I can say that we constantly look for social situations that are positive for our child and the other members of our family. We don't try to force our son on others. When we attend church, our son is in his own class, and does well there. He is a little different. But he loves to be around other children, has control of his bowels, is not violent, and does not throw tantrums. The class accepts him. He does struggle greatly with speaking and communication and understanding social acceptability. He does focus mostly on subjects that he likes. (Dinosaurs, Dragons, Elephants, Trains, etc.) But he is smart, funny, and kind to others. I think the saddest part of this story is that the parents could not reach some sort of compromise.
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Surely the child in this story would rather be in a setting where he can feel and know God's love from the people around him than in a worship service where he has to try to sit nice. (this is hard from some adults that I know). How is it possible for even his parents to focus in worship services on God with the distraction of their child.
Parents of special needs children a break. These parents need the opportunity to worship in order to have the strength to deal with the week ahead. Was there no person from their church community who would take on this child as their project and simply spend an hour with him showing him God's love while his parents worshiped? Or did the parents refuse such offers?
Talk show host Michael Savage's comments are horrible. We work everyday with our son to grow him in a positive direction. Autism is real.
Both parents of special needs children and the public need to be understanding. Simply don't put your child in a social situation that you know will fail. How is that helping your child? But be creative and figure it out without forcing your child on others who are not understanding. -
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kittcamz1 year, 3 months ago
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I'm related to an autistic man, and although I wish him nothing but the best care and happiness in life, there is a limit to what the public should have to deal with. Most of the time, he is a sociable guy and is fine coming to family functions (cookouts, christmas parties and the like)...but, put him in a public place with too large of a crowd, and the monster comes out. He masturbated in church during his own mother's funeral. Thankfully this occurred before my son was born, for if it were to happen in front of my two year old, I would be more than upset.
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This man lives in a group home where he seems to do well, but he is very demanding. He seems to be aware that the state pays for his accomodations and support, and constantly demands that he be allowed to have his own apartment, and lobbies with officials to get it. As it is, his support costs the state millions of dollars a year, and I think it's deplorable that no one has explained to him that certain things are not possible (he is high-functioning).
He also seems to enjoy making people uncomfortable and making a spectacle of himself. I know this is not the norm, and I really do sympathize with people stricken with autism and their families, but I also feel there is a limit to what perfect strangers should be subjected to. I also think it is very unfortunate for this man that no one will speak to him about what is and what is not acceptable out of fear of hurting his feelings.
Even amongst family, this man's behavior has alienated people to the point where almost no one will speak with him for fear of being trapped into spending the entire day with only him, and thus missing out on visiting with other family members. I try to take him with a grain of salt and make a point to spend some time speaking with him at every gathering, but often I end up having to excuse myself to use the bathroom so that when I return, I can visit with the rest of the family.
Having a toddler, I'm tempted to think that maybe people should respond to autistic outbursts the same way we respond to a toddler's meltdown. If my son and I are at the store and he proceeds to pull things off the shelf and I see an imminent meltdown coming, I abandon the carriage and leave the store, all the while explaining to him that we don't do whatever behavior it was that caused us to abandon ship. The same thing applies to the zoo, the playground, etc. I don't think it's fair to subject the public to my son's behavior. -
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TAKNOSHTFRMU1 year, 3 months ago
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Listen, I have a son with autism. he spits, wets his pants and has meltdowns, and has OCD. Oh and spanking?, he also has no reflexes and does not react to it, just stares at me. He is high functioning, he can do anything YOUR child can do and is gifted in music, drums and guitar. He is 4 yeard old and has been mis-diagnosed 3 times, and not allowed to see certain doctors until he turns 6 years old, Doctors are not allowed to sell drugs to kids under 6 years of age so my son is turned down by doctors, they do not want to give us an appointment to treat him with exercises and learning tools and diet. My son is not retarded, not a misfit, outcast, or troublemaker. He had no problems until he turned 2 years old. My son was not born with autism, something made him that way. May be chemicals in food, may be innoculation shots from the pediatrician, whatever it is I have to fix it, and leaving him alone makes im worse. The need to interact with the public, talk, walk, think, play. interaction turns on those receptors in the brain that have been shut off. If you don't have a child with autism your comments are not welcome, you are an idiot, and have no idea what you are talking about, has nothing to do with discipline, spanking, beating, locking them up under the stairs or in a box, or padded room, or institution. If you see my son in public, and he acts up, and you have no sympathy, or understanding, or patience, then you need to look behind you, cause I am watching you too, and I dare you to open your pie hole, you will be ejected, I will take you out !!!
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AdrienneX1 year, 3 months ago
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Hi! I just wanted to say that again and again people are saying thier children were fine until 2 years old. I just posted down at the bottom so I'll try not to repeat myself to much. I belive your right about the vaccines. I do not believe chemicals in food could do this.As a matter of fact I'm certain. It has to be the vaccines because there is way to much of a coincidence that all these kids get sick around 2.. I don't have any children but I want to say to you that you are a very courages mother and the respnonsibility must be overwhelming. I hope the best to you and hope with all my heart that thinhs ease up for you. I can reccomend a book that I know a liitle abour but believe it will help you. It is called LOUDER THAN WORDS: A MOTHERS JOURNEY IN HEALING AUTISM BY JENNIFER McCARTHY.. I hpoe this helps and I am sorry.
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undub1 year, 3 months ago
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i think this disgusting priest and his church forgot the passage in the bible where jesus says, " and the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." matt 25:40 as for savage? well, they fired imus for "discriminatory remarks" i think what savage has said is WAY WORSE than anything imus has spouted off. where is protection for the handicapped?!?!?
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Brown_Eyed_Girl1 year, 3 months ago
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I would like to recommend a book
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There's a boy in here by Judy Barron
She and her son Sean ( autistic) each write their story. Sean overcame autism to attend college and now works two jobs , one a correspondant for a newspaper.
It's amazing to hear Sean's side of what he was feeling during the most difficult years. -
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AdrienneX1 year, 3 months ago
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I just wanted to say that I commend all these parents for the trials they go through everyday with these children. I myself do not have any children but I think it is important for people who have children without disabilities to just think for a moment and realize how much harder it is to raise a child who does. Can you imagine every day having to but all your effort and energy into doing normal day to day activities because their child needs around the clock attention and care? It is a tremendous responsibility to have a child with autism of course it varies from child to child.
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What I would like to share is that I was watching I believe Oprah and she had Jennifer McCarthy and Holly Robinson on the show. They were talking about their children. Jenny McCarthy has a 5 year old autistic child named Evan. He had no signs of illness prior to his second birthday. She took him to get his vaccines right before his second birthday. Then her son went from a smilling happy normal child to a child that seemed to have lost his soul. The doctors diagnosed her son with autism and told her all the things he would never be able to do. The doctors said he will never be able to say I love you mommy and other things. Jenny did not acept this and started to fight back and help her child any way she could.
Frustration with doctors not listening to her about evan and ways she thought could help him were ongoing. She put Evan on a wheat free, diary free, and artificial additive free diet to detox his system. she also did many other things to help Evan. She stressed that there is a very small window of opportunity to pull the child out of the autistic state and out of the disease that is keeping them basicly locked up inside thierselves. But she sayse it can be done. Today Evan does tell her he loves her. I think it is time for the doctors to start listening to the parents and work with them. Autism is not understood therefor who better to consult with then the parents of that child. The CDC(Center for Disease Control) I belive issued a statement that they need to reexamine the ways they deal with the situation. This was a huge step foward for the parents. I don'y know all the facts I watched the Oprah show a wile ago but Jenny McCarty wrote a book called LOUDER THAN WORDS: A MOTHER'S JOURNEY IN HEALING AUTISM. I think this will greatly help people and I hope I offered a liitle help to people. -
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Michellerice1 year, 3 months ago
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As a mother of a thirteen year old son with severe autism, I agree that there are times that his behavior warrants avoidance or removal of certain situations. I do not avoid or remove him for the benefit of others, as much as for his dignity and my sanity :) With that being said however, no one can possibly understand the complexity of having a child with such significant needs. The government and local communities need to step up to the plate and offer families help. I am not sure what we are expected to do as single parents, parents whose spouses travel or busy families that have other children with needs too......how are we expected to do the everyday activities of life and not take our children. The cost of care for an individual with such significant needs are enormous, and just try finding qualified individuals to help care for your child so you can run to the store or get a haircut. Sadly some of you with no children will be in my shoes someday : with 1 in 150 chldren being diagnosed with autism, I think we need to start finding some more viable solutions to help families.
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Angel523851 year, 3 months ago
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I have a degree in special education and have grown up with cousins with special needs; one of them being very low-functioning autistic. Once he hit puberty he was a different child. My aunt and uncle realize that he cannot handle certain public situations and one of them stays home with him. It's better for both him, and them.
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For a child as low-functioning as they say Adam is, he most likely does not understand/acknowledge what church is about. My cousin received his confirmation, but he does not attend mass on Sundays, because he wouldn't be able to do it. Plain and simple.
It's important to include a special needs child in everyday life as much as possible, but if they can't handle it then who are they doing it for? They are not doing any favors for Adam, if he's behaving this way in church he doesn't want to be there or something is upsetting him.-
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Bmars1 year, 3 months ago
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So, one parent should stay home with our autistic children... this situation is severve yes, but the others. NO, you are an idiot! i could care less that you have a degree in special needs. You don't have a child with special needs! I am also a teacher and the special needs children were mainstreamed into my classroom! 1/2 my children were special needs. AND IT DID NOT PREPARE ME FOR HAVING ONE OF MY OWN. So please, refrain from making yourself look anymore pompus and shut up please. You are on the otherside of the fence, not ours! AND AS FOR STAYING HOME, I'M A SINGLE PARENT SO WHY DON'T YOU COME OVER AND WATCH MY SON WHILE I GO OUT. I CAN'T PAY YOU BECAUSE I HAVE TO LIVE ON ONE SALARY, BUT YOU SEEM TO BE WILLING TO DO IT. Oh and want to ask where daddy is... very far way... lol.... And your degree is in SPECIAL EDUCATION... listen up... you have not had training for austic children! I know education!
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