Latest Poll Reveals 430 New Demographics That Will Decide Election »
Posted By ind06 3 months ago in Humor
A recent election poll indicates vegan independents and skydiving widowers are among the groups that will have a major impact in November.
Read Full Story at theonion.com »
Submitted By:
ind06
Hello! My name is ind06 and I'm happy to welcome you to my profile. Sit down, make yourself comfortable, my profile is your profile ...
Also submitted:
Related Articles:
Join the Discussion 
+ Add Comment
Comments So Far: 57
-
100%
ind063 months ago
I've been keeping a close eye on the men under 56 and over 27 who are 5 to 7 pounds overweight and have an uncontrollable need to put ketchup on foods that really don't require it, for instance, spinach salad, demographic. It's unbelievable that both candidates are tied with 46% this late in the race!
Reply
Oooh! This is so EXCITING!-
100%
Beau78903 months ago
Oh. My. God.
Reply
If you could see the summaries of demographic groups marketers do, you'd think The Onion wrote them! -
100%
BronxBomber3 months ago
Hey Indy! Stoners friend "Leo" is involved in this poll? I looked him up and he's no member of Propeller...what's the matter with Shadowolf, and me? Don't we count in this query? I mean where's the "middle-aged guys with a huge BMI index who wears loud bowling shirts in public" demographic?
Reply-
100%
ind063 months ago
I was sure that demographic was counted...
Reply
Just a second...
I know...
here somewhere...
AHA!
Yeah, see the thing is, er,
Ahhh,
Well, the last time the Middle-Aged Guys Who Wore Loud Hawaiian And Or Bowling Shirts In Public demographic counted was when they put Carter over the top in 1976.
But that was because they identified with Carter's brother Billy, who is actually a part of that demographic.
So, since Carter's disastrous loss to Reagan in 1980 the whole demographic block has been sort of pushed to the side as "bad luck".
Personally, as a guy with a closet full of loud Hawaiian / bowling shirts and Bermuda shorts to match (or, not match) I have to agree, WHO SPEAKS FOR US?
-
-
-
100%
ind063 months ago
Just because you can't do a thing, doesn't mean you should... n't... do...a... thing...
Reply
-
-
-
-
-
100%
Mdiar3 months ago
I'm hoping the "Heavyset Conservative Swingers Named Larry Who Look At Guys Named Craig" demographic goes to Obama because of how much they seem to pay attention to the famous Swayzes.
Reply
That would be a win, its normally very much Republican!
-
-
-
-
100%
Charlson2 months, 4 weeks ago
Except those who claimed they walked five miles or more barefoot. They are clearly in the Obama camp.
Reply
-
-
100%
ind063 months ago
And the Ex-Nuns That Now Own Strip Clubs But Still Go To Mass Regularly vote is completely up in the air now than Sen. Clinton has dropped out of the race.
Reply -
-
100%
willottica2 months, 4 weeks ago
I've got a serious question about schizophrenics.
Reply
So do I.
If schizophrenic murderers shouldn't be sent to jail, because it's bad to jail the innocent personalities, then doesn't that acknowledge the other personalities as people?
And if the other personalities are people, shouldn't they each get a vote? (Well that is, the ones that are old enough?)
-
davidhallstromComment removed: User banned.13 Replies
-
100%
chevydog3 months ago
As a Dunking Donut independent, I vote creme-filled. They're squishy on the issues.
Reply -
-
100%
Charlson2 months, 4 weeks ago
Try a private detective, they may be able to recover them for you.
Reply
-
-
100%
cowboygrandpa3 months ago
LMAO hahahahahahahaaa
Reply
Well, doggone it. They didn't say say anything about the stay at home drunks, who play the stock market blitzed out of their mind vote. Although I'm sure they will be voting for McCain.
Have to worry about the hanging chads with these folks. They are liable to vote for all of the above as they want to diversify their portfolio.
Thanks for the invite ind06, enjoyed the humor immensely . -
-
100%
ind062 months, 4 weeks ago
Yes, some topics seem to easily allow for funny comments and this is clearly one of them.
Reply
-
-
-
100%
Charlson2 months, 4 weeks ago
Wow, didn't know they existed. You learn something new everyday.
Reply
-
-
-
100%
hefaa12 months, 4 weeks ago
Baseball is 90% mental -- the other half is physical."
Reply
-Yogi Berra
Sometimes I think Yogi's the one conducting this public opinion/voting polls. -
0%
seomagnet2 months, 2 weeks ago
What about green eyed blond moon worshippers having a bad hair day? I think that demographic will have a major impact lol
Reply
Add a Comment
Please keep your comments relevant to this story.
To create a live link, simply type the URL (including http://) or email address and we will make it a live link for you. You can put up to 3 URLs in your comments. Line breaks and paragraphs are automatically converted — no need to use <p> or <br /> tags.