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Posted By ind06 1 year, 4 months ago in Humor
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A recent election poll indicates vegan independents and skydiving widowers are among the groups that will have a major impact in November.

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    ind061 year, 4 months ago

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    I've been keeping a close eye on the men under 56 and over 27 who are 5 to 7 pounds overweight and have an uncontrollable need to put ketchup on foods that really don't require it, for instance, spinach salad, demographic. It's unbelievable that both candidates are tied with 46% this late in the race!
    Oooh! This is so EXCITING!

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      Beau78901 year, 4 months ago

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      Oh. My. God.

      If you could see the summaries of demographic groups marketers do, you'd think The Onion wrote them!

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        uncle-dave1 year, 4 months ago

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        Well , nobody's gonna tell me I can't put ketchup on my spinach salad!

        HA!!!!!

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          ind061 year, 4 months ago

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          Just because you can't do a thing, doesn't mean you should... n't... do...a... thing...

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        Nixie1 year, 4 months ago

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        I hear the Pet Owners Who Speak Baby Talk To Their Animals demographic has nearly doubled this year! What an exciting election cycle!

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          Charlson1 year, 4 months ago

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          And most of us are voting Obama.

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          Mdiar1 year, 4 months ago

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          Did you notice how dominant Obama was with the famous Swayzes?

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            tehranchik1 year, 4 months ago

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            99%

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              Mdiar1 year, 4 months ago

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              I'm hoping the "Heavyset Conservative Swingers Named Larry Who Look At Guys Named Craig" demographic goes to Obama because of how much they seem to pay attention to the famous Swayzes.

              That would be a win, its normally very much Republican!

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            Nixie1 year, 4 months ago

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            Yeah, but McCain owns the Had To Walk To School Through The Snow Uphill Both Ways vote.

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              Charlson1 year, 4 months ago

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              Except those who claimed they walked five miles or more barefoot. They are clearly in the Obama camp.

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              ind061 year, 4 months ago

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              And the Ex-Nuns That Now Own Strip Clubs But Still Go To Mass Regularly vote is completely up in the air now than Sen. Clinton has dropped out of the race.

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                Nixie1 year, 4 months ago

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                And the Left-Handed Schizophreniacs are still Undecided.

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                  uncle-dave1 year, 4 months ago

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                  All schizophrenics are ambidextrous!

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                  willottica1 year, 4 months ago

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                  I've got a serious question about schizophrenics.
                  So do I.

                  If schizophrenic murderers shouldn't be sent to jail, because it's bad to jail the innocent personalities, then doesn't that acknowledge the other personalities as people?

                  And if the other personalities are people, shouldn't they each get a vote? (Well that is, the ones that are old enough?)

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                    Mdiar1 year, 4 months ago

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                    You're confusing schizophrenia with disassociative identity disorder. Common mistake.

                    But to answer you're question, all extra personalities are considered anarchists and do not get a vote due to a legal quirk.

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                HannibalBarca1 year, 4 months ago

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                But where in the standings are the carpenters with plumbers butt, or the alcoholic, pet hating zoo keepers

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                chevydog1 year, 4 months ago

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                As a Dunking Donut independent, I vote creme-filled. They're squishy on the issues.

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                  Happy311 year, 4 months ago

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                  No dis-satisfied social media users? I'm at a loss for words...

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                    Charlson1 year, 4 months ago

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                    Try a private detective, they may be able to recover them for you.

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                    cowboygrandpa1 year, 4 months ago

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                    LMAO hahahahahahahaaa

                    Well, doggone it. They didn't say say anything about the stay at home drunks, who play the stock market blitzed out of their mind vote. Although I'm sure they will be voting for McCain.

                    Have to worry about the hanging chads with these folks. They are liable to vote for all of the above as they want to diversify their portfolio.

                    Thanks for the invite ind06, enjoyed the humor immensely .

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                      ind061 year, 4 months ago

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                      Glad to have you here cowboygrandpa :)

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                      fsev411 year, 4 months ago

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                      Oh, I just hate these threads that point out that there's a little humanity and a real sense of humor on both sides of the fence. Does that make me the sole member of a demographic?

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                        ind061 year, 4 months ago

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                        Which way are you leaning?

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                        simonsez1 year, 4 months ago

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                        This may be your best submission, ind. Funny stuff from all ...

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                          ind061 year, 4 months ago

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                          Yes, some topics seem to easily allow for funny comments and this is clearly one of them.

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                          TheRealizer1 year, 4 months ago

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                          What about us left leaning social conservatives?

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                            Charlson1 year, 4 months ago

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                            Wow, didn't know they existed. You learn something new everyday.

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                            pc251 year, 4 months ago

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                            That's funny stuff........

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                            • Neutral
                              seomagnet1 year, 3 months ago

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                              What about green eyed blond moon worshippers having a bad hair day? I think that demographic will have a major impact lol

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