Science Almost 80% Complete! »
Posted By ind06 1 year, 3 months ago in Humor"Science is almost 80% complete" claimed Dr. Sidney S. Shlangg, head scientist of science in the whole wide world, in a crowd pleasing speech at some Science thing.
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ind06
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CRYMTYPHON1 year, 3 months ago
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I think the remaining 20% is 'dark science'.
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Dark Science's existence was implied in early papers I submitted to many peer-reviewed magazines. However I typed in the dark because electricity frightens me, and only much later did I find I was not using ink.
If we closely examine 'dark science' we see that it unifies into one theory all of Reaganomics, Phrenology, Astral Projection, the Bush Doctrine, and the Floresiensis Hobbits.
When 'Dark Science' is understood and I am given the just credit I deserve then All Mankind and even many women, will benefit from a post-electrical understanding.
To learn further about 'Dark Science' send me your address and I will send you my peer-reviewed pamphlet 'Dark Science And Bright Hats'
I will also probably visit in person when I am released.
Sincerely,
Professor Emeritus Crymtyphon
Ward 14 (blue ward)
Big Brick Building with Barred Windows
SomeWhere Quiet. -
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cowboygrandpa1 year, 3 months ago
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I don't know, after four fifths of anything. I'm not sure I'd understand a blinking thing the scientist said.
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Thats why I had to give up drinking, I did always know where the bathroom was though.
We came up with some pretty far out equations when we had that much to drink. Like E=MC Squared= Eggs eaten before passing out, and Pi R squared equalled the number of Pizza Pies consumed with mass quantities of beer from pitchers while watching Monday night football.
That was a science I understood.
Good one ind06. Thanks for the invite -
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chevydog1 year, 3 months ago
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Poor Prof. Schlaang! Such a brilliant presentation spoiled because the translators used the wrong dialect of Polish. (They used the standard as opposed to the one revealed by the Poloska tablet that was recently found at Stonehenge.)
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Anyway, I agree that we should stop learning things so rapidly. At the rate we're going, the remainder of all science will be found sometime during the life of our grandchildren. Then -- no more discoveries! As was recently noted in an article in the Journal of Equine Entomology, something over 75% of all scientists found this very disturbing--especially the partial scientist. -
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Ciera-Marie1 year, 3 months ago
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Uncle-Dave you mean a nuclear groundhog/prairie dog annihilator. Remember both are cute but deadly.
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Now the Badger looks mean and may act mean, but that's just because he's not understood, needs to be loved and wasn't hugged enough. Or so I've been told by those that want "to fix/change" him.
I say we get the badgers on our side to go after the groundhogs and prairie dogs.
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proxindey1 year, 3 months ago
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In a lecture delivered in April 1900 before the Royal Institution, Lord Kelvin talkedabout two “Nineteenth Century Clouds Over the Dynamical Theory of Heat and Light”.It was such a rare case of penetrating insight into the nature of physics that one is leftadmiring it even now. It is the resolution of these two “clouds” that gave rise to the tworevolutions in twentieth century physics. One of these clouds referred to the continuedunsuccessful attempts to detect the motion of the earth through aether and it’s resolutionwas achieved by Einstein’s special theory of Relativity (1905). The other cloud referred to the failure of the equipartition theorem inclassical statistical mechanics. It resolution required the second revolution, associated withthe quantum.
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