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Posted By ind06 1 year ago in Humor

WASHINGTON— Speaking from the Oval Office, President Bush assured citizens that in these times of great uncertainty, the best and only course of action is to come under the throes of a sudden, overwhelming fear marked by hysterical or irrational behavior.

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    ind061 year ago

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    History "Factoid": The "Headless Chicken" defense was first developed by James Madison during the War of 1812, and later perfected under Herbert Hoover.
    Bonus "Fun Fact": In the 60's, under Lyndon Johnson, it was a popular dance in Washington, D.C.!

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      Spadecaller1 year ago

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      How refreshing to see Bush mean what he almost says.

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        BronxBomber1 year ago

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        But does he understand what he says?

        :oS

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          engineer1 year ago

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          NO!!!

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          cowboygrandpa1 year ago

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          Spadecaller:

          Yeah, his hole card is to announce, that he has suspended the elections and imposed martial law upon the nation. Declaring himself President for life.

          That would defintely set off of the panic and depression the likes of which this country has never seen. LMAO hahhahahahahaha

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          chevydog1 year ago

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          We are doing our part here in MO! Next Saturday marks the end of Public Panic Week. There will be a wailing at the courthouse steps starting at 9:00 AM. We will run around the courthouse three times waving our arms disconsolably while sobbing. Then we run in the courthouse and collape crying in the lobby. We're instructed to make sure our tears fall on the wood floor and stain it. Never let it be said that MO is behind the curve!

          Stiff upper lips are out. We need to show our emotion.

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            icono11 year ago

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            Well let me see...... GW wants a mass panic over the panic??? damn, ok, let me see if I have some panic pills and anxiety booze laying around to facilitate this experience..... well none of that laying around. Guess I'll just have to fake this one by drinking some rum, coke, and jack and laughing my arse off at this farce called a political race. I'll take some pills tomorrow..... they are called aspirin.

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              ind061 year ago

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              I suggest taking deep rapid breaths until your head starts feeling light, then placing your pants on your head and running down the street in a pair of bunny slippers shrieking Yi Yi Yi Yi Yi Yi Yi!!

              Just a suggestion.

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                chevydog1 year ago

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                Bunny slippers? How totally 1980's!

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                  BronxBomber1 year ago

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                  Like TOTALLY UN-RAD!!!

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                    ind061 year ago

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                    OK then, your black leather and sheep's wool Gucci slippers.

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                      uncle-dave1 year ago

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                      Gucci slippers are not exactly “sensible” foot ware for the Apocalypse.

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                        ind061 year ago

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                        OK then how about your steel-toed camouflage combat boots?

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                          cowboygrandpa1 year ago

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                          ind06:

                          I can wear my super highly polished jump boots. That way when I jump into a panic I'm ready to land stylishly. LMAO hahahhahahahahahaa.

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                            ind061 year ago

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                            And you can stand too close to the girls wearing skirts if you know what I mean, If you get my drift, nudge nudge wink wink say no more. :D

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                              icono11 year ago

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                              Gucci Jump Boots.
                              Cousin Willy would like a pair of those.
                              Can one find those at the Italian Army Surplus outlet in Milan Wva.

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                          german-shepard1 year ago

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                          uncle-dave,

                          They (Gucci slippers) are proper when you want to go out in style!

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                    PainGoddess1 year ago

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                    Got the slippers but gauging on whether or not to wear the wig....do have the vodka ready...goes well with the daily intake of vegetables...V8

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                      Ratskii1 year ago

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                      And a darn good one. If it weren't so cold in my neck of the woods, I'd certainly consider it.

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                        icono11 year ago

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                        No bunny slippers.
                        Will some Yogi Bear slippers do.
                        As for breathing rapidly and getting dizzy ; can't do that pardner. I'll get thirsty and have to stop and get a reload on my Caribbean Redneck with a few extra ice cubes to curb the thirst. Which will make he light headed and dizzy anyway.

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                      StevieGee1 year ago

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                      According to FEMA the guns and booze have been delivered but it's the state's responsibility to distribute them. They have also delivered 26 truck loads of Gucci slippers but have no way to distribute those either and they are contaminated with formaldahyde.

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                        ind061 year ago

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                        On the plus side, you should be getting your silk pajama tops today or tomorrow...
                        Unfortunately your matching silk pajama bottoms have been held up indefinitely...
                        Oh, and those tops have been found by early recipients to be infested with flesh-eating Paraguayan cannibal moths, so be sure to give them a good shake before wearing!

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                          chevydog1 year ago

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                          Saw some of those guys shreiking the other day. Couldn't tell whether it was because of the general economic situation or the moths. Because they were wearing PJ bottoms, I guess the latter.

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                        Tcaros1 year ago

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                        Bush is the "act now" president.

                        On Bin Laden: Act now, or the terrorist will win.
                        He never found Bin Laden.

                        On the economy: Act now, or we will be in a disaster. He tanked the economy himself with his rich oil buddies and world bankers.

                        He's a real scum bag.

                        Americans are being fooled, just like those Texas farmers who were bilked out of the mineral rights for their properties.

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                          simonsez1 year ago

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                          Geez, I wasn't aware anything was wrong ...

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                            cowboygrandpa1 year ago

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                            ROTFLMAO hahahahahahahahaaa

                            Good one simonsez.

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                            Tcaros1 year ago

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                            Examine the Bush family history and you'll understand where he's coming from.

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                              Ratskii1 year ago

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                              Thanks for the enjoyable post, ind06. It's nice to be able to take some time out from all the dead seriousness.

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                                k21bl1 year ago

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                                Does He realize that He caused most of this MESS! What an IDIOT!
                                He's a little late I think!

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