New Pain-Inducing Advil Created For People Who Just Want To Feel Something, Anything »
Posted By ind06 7 months, 2 weeks ago in HumorTaken three times daily with a quart of gin, Advil Release can alleviate the worst symptoms of life's deadening futility and cold, blank emptiness.
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ind06
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ind067 months, 2 weeks ago
What a relief!
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Yes, the universe may be Godless, cold and cruel, but there's always agonizing pain to be had. -
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cowboygrandpa7 months, 2 weeks ago
ind06:
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Hahaaaahaaaa
Who needs a pill for pain. Hell aging will give ya all the pain ya want and more. And if that is not enough, get married.
Whewwwwwww !!!! Now there is a pain !!! LOL
Marriage doesn't discriminate, everyone who gets married, men and women get that pain. Young, old, rich, poor, handsome, plain, all ethnicity's.
Now if they could take marriage and bottle it !!!!! Man that would be better than capital punishment for most criminals.
Just think a lifetime of marriage in a bottle, with the audio of a nagging wife or a complaining husband. Man that would send me over the edge.
LMAO hahhahahahaaaa
Good one ind06 -
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Charlson7 months, 1 week ago
It's recommended that you take alchohol with the pain inducing advil, it'll be more effective.
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chevydog7 months, 2 weeks ago
If you absolutely MUST feel something, this seems like just the ticket. Be sure to follow the recommendations for use. If the pain lasts more than four hours, either sob uncontrollably or stop taking it and see your doctor.
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uncle-dave7 months, 2 weeks ago
I didn’t realize that I was living the good life until I read this article. I didn’t know that taking 10 minutes to get out of bed in the morning because of back pain was a positive thing. My back was actually shouting at me, “you’re alive you’re alive”!!! I am so overwhelmed by my new “awareness” that I think I’ll stay in bed awhile longer.
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ind067 months, 2 weeks ago
Ten or twelve limes? I don't know about painful, but it would be REALLY sour. :P
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CRYMTYPHON7 months, 2 weeks ago
Folks, this isn't real .
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The so-called 'Pain-inducing active ingredient' is just chalk;
you are only experiencing placebo pain , sort of like listening to Emo or Barry Manilow but less embarrasing.
For the record, Bayer released a true 'Pain-Inducer' in 1974.
The active ingredient was broken glass. The extra-strength version had tiny steel fishhooks ™ and came with magnets to be placed at parts of the body sensitive to tiny steel fishhooks.
It was banned after people operating heavy machinery went on screaming rampages through several cities, but of course the MSM covered it up as usual.-
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tehranchik7 months, 2 weeks ago
OMG! ha ha ha ha ha........ CRYMT - if you ever write a book - I get dibs on the first copy. Autographed of course!
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ind067 months, 2 weeks ago
WRONG!
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The active ingredient is FINGERNAILS, the chalk is just a reagent that activates the fingernails pain giving properties. This is a new R-DNA-OMG based pharmaceutical product that simulates the agony, but not the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard for up to eight hours straight. Bayer's tiny fishhooks are SO last millennium!
Advil didn't pay me to say that.
Advil doesn't have my loved ones at gun point.
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cowboygrandpa7 months, 2 weeks ago
ind06:
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I have found to much pleasure turns into pain after a while as well. LMAO hahahahaaaaaa
Such as a long night with Mr Jack Daniels. Whewwwwwwwww !!!!!
The pain is intense and makes ya feel like dying !!!!!!!!!
Throw in a quart of 101 proof Schnapps and ya got " just let me become comatose until it is over, I promise I'll never do it again. Welllllllll, at least for a week. haaaahahahhahaaaaa
Now add to that the complaining of a loud voiced spouse and ya have pure agony.
Man I'm glad those days are over for me !!!!! I don't drink any more. LOL -
ProgressiveComment removed: Spam
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Progressive7 months, 2 weeks ago
There is no pain you are receding
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A distant ship, smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.
When I was a child
I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look but it was gone
I cannot put my finger on it now
The child is grown,
The dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wtiNzci1Wc-
Republicrat1844Comment removed: User banned.
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icono17 months, 2 weeks ago
I chase Advil induced pain with a mixture of two shots of Jack Daniels mixed with one shot of Bacardi. No mixers pluease.
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Works every time. -
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jlc729217 months, 2 weeks ago
I learned a long time ago not to mix nothing with lickor ha ha just drink water. Altho it aint as good as some mixes you will not vomit all night.Getting old aint all that bad ,even if i do hurt all over i am alive....I get to hold my grand children and I do have a famialy they do bitch a lot but i smile at them and say may god bless you and a long happy life to you .I cain't stand a drunk ,so i had to quit...ha ha ha lol
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