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Posted By ind06 1 year ago in Humor

Taken three times daily with a quart of gin, Advil Release can alleviate the worst symptoms of life's deadening futility and cold, blank emptiness.

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    ind061 year ago

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    What a relief!
    Yes, the universe may be Godless, cold and cruel, but there's always agonizing pain to be had.

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      cowboygrandpa1 year ago

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      ind06:

      Hahaaaahaaaa

      Who needs a pill for pain. Hell aging will give ya all the pain ya want and more. And if that is not enough, get married.

      Whewwwwwww !!!! Now there is a pain !!! LOL

      Marriage doesn't discriminate, everyone who gets married, men and women get that pain. Young, old, rich, poor, handsome, plain, all ethnicity's.

      Now if they could take marriage and bottle it !!!!! Man that would be better than capital punishment for most criminals.
      Just think a lifetime of marriage in a bottle, with the audio of a nagging wife or a complaining husband. Man that would send me over the edge.
      LMAO hahhahahahaaaa

      Good one ind06

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        ind061 year ago

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        Thanks cowboygrandpa, glad you enjoyed the post!

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        corl641 year ago

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        Can I use it with Jack Daniels instead of gin?

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          ind061 year ago

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          As a mixer I recommend Advil "All Night" Pain Syrup.

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          Charlson1 year ago

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          It's recommended that you take alchohol with the pain inducing advil, it'll be more effective.

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          chevydog1 year ago

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          If you absolutely MUST feel something, this seems like just the ticket. Be sure to follow the recommendations for use. If the pain lasts more than four hours, either sob uncontrollably or stop taking it and see your doctor.

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            uncle-dave1 year ago

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            I didn’t realize that I was living the good life until I read this article. I didn’t know that taking 10 minutes to get out of bed in the morning because of back pain was a positive thing. My back was actually shouting at me, “you’re alive you’re alive”!!! I am so overwhelmed by my new “awareness” that I think I’ll stay in bed awhile longer.

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              ind061 year ago

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              And remember that knee you banged last month, the one that still hurts? CONGRATULATIONS! YOU'RE ALIVE!

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                cowboygrandpa1 year ago

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                ind06:

                How about the feet that send electric waves of pain coursing through your body with every step ya take, welcome to getting older.
                Doggone shock absorbers are worn out and non replaceable. Hahaahahaaaaaa

                I keep looking for my warranty but it expired years ago. LOL

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              Bkumm1 year ago

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              I'm skipping the Advil and going straight to the gin.

              Bombay Sapphire if you please, with blue cheese stuffed green olives, Canada Dry tonic water and a twist of lime.

              Ten or twelve of those will give you all the pain you can stand.

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                ind061 year ago

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                Ten or twelve limes? I don't know about painful, but it would be REALLY sour. :P

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                CRYMTYPHON1 year ago

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                Folks, this isn't real .

                The so-called 'Pain-inducing active ingredient' is just chalk;
                you are only experiencing placebo pain , sort of like listening to Emo or Barry Manilow but less embarrasing.

                For the record, Bayer released a true 'Pain-Inducer' in 1974.
                The active ingredient was broken glass. The extra-strength version had tiny steel fishhooks ™ and came with magnets to be placed at parts of the body sensitive to tiny steel fishhooks.

                It was banned after people operating heavy machinery went on screaming rampages through several cities, but of course the MSM covered it up as usual.

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                  tehranchik1 year ago

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                  OMG! ha ha ha ha ha........ CRYMT - if you ever write a book - I get dibs on the first copy. Autographed of course!

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                    ind061 year ago

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                    WRONG!
                    The active ingredient is FINGERNAILS, the chalk is just a reagent that activates the fingernails pain giving properties. This is a new R-DNA-OMG based pharmaceutical product that simulates the agony, but not the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard for up to eight hours straight. Bayer's tiny fishhooks are SO last millennium!
                    Advil didn't pay me to say that.
                    Advil doesn't have my loved ones at gun point.

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                    cowboygrandpa1 year ago

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                    ind06:

                    I have found to much pleasure turns into pain after a while as well. LMAO hahahahaaaaaa

                    Such as a long night with Mr Jack Daniels. Whewwwwwwwww !!!!!
                    The pain is intense and makes ya feel like dying !!!!!!!!!

                    Throw in a quart of 101 proof Schnapps and ya got " just let me become comatose until it is over, I promise I'll never do it again. Welllllllll, at least for a week. haaaahahahhahaaaaa

                    Now add to that the complaining of a loud voiced spouse and ya have pure agony.

                    Man I'm glad those days are over for me !!!!! I don't drink any more. LOL

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                      Progressive1 year ago

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                      There is no pain you are receding
                      A distant ship, smoke on the horizon.
                      You are only coming through in waves.
                      Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.
                      When I was a child
                      I caught a fleeting glimpse
                      Out of the corner of my eye.
                      I turned to look but it was gone
                      I cannot put my finger on it now
                      The child is grown,
                      The dream is gone.
                      I have become comfortably numb.

                      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wtiNzci1Wc

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                        Charlson1 year ago

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                        I'm flicking my bic as I read your post!

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                        icono11 year ago

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                        I chase Advil induced pain with a mixture of two shots of Jack Daniels mixed with one shot of Bacardi. No mixers pluease.
                        Works every time.

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                          jlc729211 year ago

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                          I learned a long time ago not to mix nothing with lickor ha ha just drink water. Altho it aint as good as some mixes you will not vomit all night.Getting old aint all that bad ,even if i do hurt all over i am alive....I get to hold my grand children and I do have a famialy they do bitch a lot but i smile at them and say may god bless you and a long happy life to you .I cain't stand a drunk ,so i had to quit...ha ha ha lol

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