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Posted By BronxBomber 11 months, 4 weeks ago in Religion

Germany's churches criticized a businessman on Tuesday for selling thousands of Jesus chocolates....

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    BronxBomber11 months, 4 weeks ago

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    I can imagine the ad right now: "Chocolate Jesus,for the taste that's sanctimoniously delicious!"

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      Dionys11 months, 3 weeks ago

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      You know why Jesus can't eat M, right?

      They keep falling through the holes in his hands.

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        Dionys11 months, 3 weeks ago

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        That is M and Ms

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          Ciera-Marie11 months, 3 weeks ago

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          And this is why we get along so well.

          Hahahahahaha.R O F L M A O

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          Mutainia11 months, 3 weeks ago

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          Hey, will you say something equally offensive about Muhammad, O "I'm not a Muslim"? I highly doubt it.

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            Dionys11 months, 3 weeks ago

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            "Hey, will you say something equally offensive about Muhammad, O "I'm not a Muslim"? I highly doubt it."

            How's that offensive to Christians?

            Did not Christ himself offer the holes in his body to Doubting Thomas as proof positive that he was risen again?

            Pathetic.

            Mohammed is not the prophet. At least not for me, personally. For others, sure.

            Good enough? Or are you going to rant on and on now about some obscure Qu'ran quote that doesn't mean what you think it means.

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              DeadXXXManXXXTalkin11 months, 3 weeks ago

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              that's easy, some christians hold the sacrifice Jesus made aquiring the holes sacred and would rather not see it made into a joke

              the thing about offering the holes to Thomas doesn't equate because Thomas didn't have any candy, as I'm sure you know. He was just a bit of a d!ck and didn't trust his buddies

              an atheist science-loving guy would be offended because Jesus was not a contemporary of m & m's

              a muslim would be offended because many don't believe Jesus bought it on the cross

              a mormon would be offended-heck, because their mormons

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                Mutainia11 months, 3 weeks ago

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                If Muhammad had holes in his hands, would you have DARED tried to have made the same joke, though, O "I'm not a Muslim" who said he "served in Afghanistan"?

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            Ciera-Marie11 months, 3 weeks ago

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            Every year I get my Catholic Relatives a Chocolate crucifix. Somebody forgot to they the Germans that it's okay.

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              cowboygrandpa11 months, 3 weeks ago

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              BB:

              Somehow I don't think this is what Jesus meant when He said this is My body broken for you eat of it.

              Next we will have wine makers making red wine and saying it is the blood of the Lord.

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                BronxBomber11 months, 3 weeks ago

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                No CBGB, that' s done on Sunday's. The Roman Catholics already cornered the market on that...

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              Ratskii11 months, 3 weeks ago

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              Chocolate is never tasteless.

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                Dionys11 months, 3 weeks ago

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                You've never had the German milk chocolates made for the American market then, have you.

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                  Progressive11 months, 3 weeks ago

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                  That's only 'cause they're stale by the time they get here.

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                    Dionys11 months, 3 weeks ago

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                    Nope. I've eaten them fresh off the belt. That is those specifically made for the American market -- not the German chocolates imported to America. Those are great. The ones made specifically for the US market (such as you often find in English-language Nativity calendars) are crap.

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                      Progressive11 months, 3 weeks ago

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                      You're right. The advent calendar chocolates seem to be the same quality as the bubble gum that used to come with baseball cards (one could chew the gum or the cards...both tasted the same). There are a couple of good online direct importers of the real stuff, however, so no need to settle for substandard, wholesale export quality.

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                        Dionys11 months, 3 weeks ago

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                        "so no need to settle for substandard, wholesale export quality."

                        Oh I never do. I treat chocolate like wine nutjobs treat wine. :)

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                        Ciera-Marie11 months, 3 weeks ago

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                        So's the chocolate crucifix. Why it always ends up in the garbage.

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                          BronxBomber11 months, 3 weeks ago

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                          Too crusty?

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                  german-shepard11 months, 3 weeks ago

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                  What would you bite into first?

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                    uncle-dave11 months, 3 weeks ago

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                    The Holy Ghost?

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                      Progressive11 months, 3 weeks ago

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                      Would that be the sugar-free version?

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                    Beau789011 months, 3 weeks ago

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                    I have to give credit to dadesider for posting this link a week or so ago, but since we're on the subject, it bears repeating. For those who missed it:

                    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wfamPW3Eaw

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                      uncle-dave11 months, 3 weeks ago

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                      Then, there is always this:
                      http://www.answermejesus.com/index.asp

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                        BronxBomber11 months, 3 weeks ago

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                        Uncle Dave, I asked Jesus if I was going to heaven, all I got was: "LMAO!"

                        :o/

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                          Ciera-Marie11 months, 3 weeks ago

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                          Then it's time for you to go "Ask the Buddha!"

                          Quick question how is the Ask Jessus and Ask Buddha any different from the condemned (at least by evangelicals) Magic 8 Ball?

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                            BronxBomber11 months, 3 weeks ago

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                            Could work CM!

                            In the mornings, I like my bread with Buddha...( well granted it's not exactly chocolate....)

                            :o/

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                        Progressive11 months, 3 weeks ago

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                        "Frank Oynhausen set up his 'Sweet Lord' chocolate Jesus-making business saying he wanted to restore some traditional religious values to Christmas in Germany."

                        He might have gotten the name from this:

                        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wynYMJwEPH8

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                        earthlingerer11 months, 3 weeks ago

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                        Why not "show some balls" and be an equal opportunity offender.

                        Chocolate Muhammed.

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                          Ciera-Marie11 months, 3 weeks ago

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                          And the Chocolate Buddha.

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                            Mutainia11 months, 3 weeks ago

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                            But no one is going to carve your head off to mind-less chants of "Jesus is Great" if you make one of Jesus.

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                              DeadXXXManXXXTalkin11 months, 3 weeks ago

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                              let see, muslins rioted over a cartoon depiction of the big M

                              chocolate M should be good for...oh....78 mil in property damage and 29 deaths

                              let's not and say we did

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                              StevieGee11 months, 3 weeks ago

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                              To me, a chocolate Jesus is no different from a chocolate Santa or Easter Bunny.

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                                BronxBomber11 months, 3 weeks ago

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                                I disagree..I heard it's richer in flavor... one bite, and you'll walk on water.

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                                coolrayfruge11 months, 3 weeks ago

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                                I think a little chocolate Jesus would be more tasty that those little waffers they give you at mass.

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                                  BronxBomber11 months, 3 weeks ago

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                                  Church attendance would indeed increase.

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                                  DeadXXXManXXXTalkin11 months, 3 weeks ago

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                                  this is obviously not a religious sensitivity issue

                                  this is obviously a race issue

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                                    Bluedragon91211 months, 3 weeks ago

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                                    MMMMmmmmm. Sounds heavenly.

                                    How would someone eat that? I mean, every time you take a bit you'd be thinking "Oh God! I'm eating Jesus and enjoying it!" Never mind if it melted.

                                    I should make chocolate Shivas, then move onto the entire pantheon.

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                                      Mutainia11 months, 3 weeks ago

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                                      How about chocolate Muhammads?

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                                      Radiofreeeuropa11 months, 3 weeks ago

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                                      Well, given German history, perhaps if it were a Vanilla Jesus they would have been OK with it.

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                                        Aidenag11 months, 3 weeks ago

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                                        In the Words of Tom Waits; "It's Gotta Be a Chocolate Jesus, If You Want To Keep Me Satisfied" :)
                                        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wfamPW3Eaw

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                                          BronxBomber11 months, 3 weeks ago

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                                          Too late Aidenag, Beau7890 already beat you to it. Scroll up.

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                                          buddhaed11 months, 3 weeks ago

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                                          A chocolate colored Jesus trully represents his actual skin color. He was bleached for local consumption almost two thousand years ago.

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                                            Mutainia11 months, 3 weeks ago

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                                            I'm betting that the real Jesus wasn't white or dark chocolate in color. Probably more of a light milk chocolate.

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