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For stress free flying eat a pot brownie or fudge before the flight. I would say get drunk but they can smell it on your breath. If they ask you any questions the answer is no to everything except did you pack your bags yourself. If they knew the answers they wouldn't ask you so don't volunteer information like possecion of more than 3 OZ of crest antitarter whitening toothpaste. My dad is a diabetic and he learned on a flight as a government employee what happens if you open your mouth. My dad is the most honest person in the world almost to a fault. He admitted to having a needle, insulin, and glucose tablets when they asked him the routine question. The security could not figure out what to do. If your kid has athma keep your yap shut because they think busting a parent who volunteers the truth somehow has something to do with their competency to figure out a terrorist who will lie to them. If you want to relax get a seat at the front and carry a roll of quarters. Make eye contact with the first white boy who looks like he could play lineman at Nebraska, take a spare sock (don't take the shoe off because we all know what happens then) drop the quarter roll in the sock and know there are now 2 of you to take on the boxcutter rebellion. By the way the previous instructions are only for white people. If you have a dark tan and a bushy beard then forget about a stress free flight if you are lucky enough to be allowed to fly period.

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