National Buffoon's Unhelpful Hints! - (How did we live without 'em?) »
Posted By Radiofreeeuropa 9 months, 2 weeks ago in HumorA collection of hints for best dealing with life's everyday situations and problems. From carpet stains to oversleeping National Buffoon's staff writer Harlotta Uxor has you covered. She also answers reader mail.
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Radiofreeeuropa
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Radiofreeeuropa9 months, 2 weeks ago
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Dear HARLOTTA: I like to keep my shoes in the original boxes. Opening the boxes to see which pair was inside became an annoyance. I decided to organize them. I took photos with a digital camera and printed out two copies on plain paper. One copy went on the lid, and the other on the box end. What a difference in my search! -- Doris Knobis, West Palm Beach, Fla.
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Harloota responds:
Doris you are beyond anal. Good grief get a life! -
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lvrofwolves9 months, 2 weeks ago
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My ex BFs father was so anal, he actually kept the boxes the light bulbs came in, marked the date of purchase,installation and location of said bulb (which lamp etc..), if it didn't last the aprox time it was supposed to, he drove 15 miles each way to return it and get his .25 cents back.
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lvrofwolves9 months, 2 weeks ago
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My unhelpful hint, I got from ym father in law who 'survived the depression'
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When your ketchup or mustard bottle seems empty,don't buy more yet, there's plenty more in there. All you need to do is pour some water in there, swish it, shake it and WA LAH you have more. Keep doing this until the day comes when the water comes out clear or just slightly yellow or pink, you know you've used up your entire bottle.
I'm sure this unhelpful hint works well with other condiments too. -
mntnman444Comment removed: Spammer, Hard Banned2 Replies
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Radiofreeeuropa9 months, 2 weeks ago
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Harlotta sez:
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If you are sitting next to someone who irritates you on a plane or train:
1. Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case.
2. Remove your laptop.
3. Turn it on.
4. Make sure the guy who won't leave you alone can see the screen.
6. Close your eyes and tilt your head up to the sky.
7. Then hit this link.
http://www.thecleverest.com/countdown.swf
The guy will STFU! (Though you may be bothered by some pesky air marshalls...) -
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Ciera-Marie9 months, 2 weeks ago
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Here's an unhelpful hint when you need barbecue sauce but don't have any. Supposedly works if you have grape jelly and ketchup.
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Take equal amounts of grape jelly and ketchup, mix and keep adding both till you the right amount...and viola'! Barbecue sauce!
Here's another, save your old socks. Then when you need to wash your windows stick hand in them, then either spray window with window cleaner or white vinegar and wipe away.
Need to hang a picture? Put scotch tape over the mark you made and then pound nail or picture hanger kit there.
Another use for toothpaste (non gel has to be white and paste) is nail hole filler if you can't afford the Spackle before you move. -
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Radiofreeeuropa9 months, 2 weeks ago
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When someone is Heimlich-ed because they are choking in a restaurant, don't let that spit out piece of food go to waste!
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Pick it up off the floor and stick it in someone's soup while they are gawking at the choking victim! Remember waste not/want not. -
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Radiofreeeuropa9 months, 2 weeks ago
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Harlotta suggests ironing is a waste. That if you must, you can remove wrinkles from your husband's underwear or pants by hanging them up on a rope, and with the garden hose set to high give em the ol' 1-2. For further time saving, It is suggested you do this while he is wearing them.
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lvrofwolves9 months, 2 weeks ago
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Newperson-use chewing gum!
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got peanut butter in your hair? use chewing gum!
wanna get all that pet hair off your clothes before heading to the office? use chewing gum.
plaque build up on your teeth, get heavy grit sand paper, sand teeth until smooth. -
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