Top 50 Reasons I Reject Evolution »
Posted By RickyDawkins 8 months ago in Humor2.) Because I’m too stupid and/or lazy to open a f-ing book or turn on the Discovery Science Channel.
6.) Because I can’t get it through my thick logic-proof skull that evolution refers ONLY to the process of speciation, not to abiogenesis, or planet formation, or big bang cosmology, or whether God exists, or where they buried Jimmy Hoffa, or why the sky is blue, or how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
11.) Because I think the word “theory” actually means: “random stabs in the dark” when it really means: "an explanation of certain phenomena that is well-supported by a large body of facts and often unifies other similarly well-supported hypotheses" i.e. atomic theory, gravitational theory, germ theory, cell theory, some-people-are-dumb-mfers-theory, etc.
25.) Because I don’t realize that saying “microevolution is possible but macroevolution isn’t” is like saying “I can pick my nose for one second but I cannot pick it for 10 seconds.”
32.) Because the planet and all the life on it was designed for humans… kinda like how the Metropolitan Museum of Art in NY was designed specifically for the dust-bunnies that may accumulate on the floors.
40.) Because I haven’t put my cave on the market and moved into the 21st century yet. I’m waiting for the cave market to rebound from the recent financial meltdown.
48.) Because I’m a freethinker and freethinking really means ignoring anything that contradicts what I already believe.
:)
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RickyDawkins
Atheism can be either the rejection of theism, or the position that deities do not exist. In the broadest sense, it is the absence of ...
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RickyDawkinsComment removed: Spam
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RickyDawkins8 months ago
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15.) Because some secretly fabulous closet-dwelling televangelist (who un-ironically preaches hate towards gays) told me that evolution is Satan’s way of leading me away from God.
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16.) Because that same guy (who was also caught snorting blow off a male hooker’s shiny naked ass) told me that God planted those fossils to test my faith.
23.) Because the idea that life evolved naturally over billions of years is infinitely less believable than the idea that an 800 year old man crammed two of every species into a giant wooden boat when the entire planet flooded, an event for which there is absolutely no geological evidence whatsoever and also makes no f-ing sense at all.
33.) Because I don’t realize that if we actually found croco-ducks in the fossil record, it would falsify evolution.
34.) Because plenty of respectable people like Ron Paul, Mitt Romney, and Mike Huckabee (who are not scientists) don’t accept evolution, and that somehow validates my opinion.
40.) Because I haven’t put my cave on the market and moved into the 21st century yet. I’m waiting for the cave market to rebound from the recent financial meltdown.
46.) Because I think I’m too special to have been crafted by any natural process and the entire planet, solar system, galaxy, and universe were created with me especially in mind.
47.) Because I unquestioningly swallow the ignorant anti-science bs spewed directly from the fraudulent stupid asses of people like Ken Ham, Ted Haggard, Fred Phelps, and Kent Hovind.
http://bobbie-the-jean.deviantart.com/journal/2358... -
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CRYMTYPHON8 months ago
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I am kinder than Mr. Dawkins.
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I regard those who reject evolution, as exactly the sort of
person I was, when the kid next door told me where babies
came from.
that's disgusting I said,
and I rejected the theory completely;
although aftewards I never could take my parents seriously.
That babies came from a sticky, slimy embarrasing bio-chemical process driven by desire and ruled by random interaction, - offended me.
Just so, those who oppose the concept that all present life is the result of the mating of desire and chance on the marriage bed of biochemical laws, - mean well.
They just need to grow up some.-
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rimbaud8 months ago
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Babies come from God. That's why you don't get pregnant just 'cause you have sex. Some people keep having sex and God does not bless them with a baby. When teenagers have sex, God blesses them with a baby to celebrate their youth and fertility.
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libsRfunnyComment removed: Hard Banned11 Replies
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Poulenc8 months ago
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...and may I add, in the words of Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes (as part, actually, of a highly un-PC ruling), "three generations of idiots are enough."
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By which I mean that, really, we must attempt to set a statute of limitations for (willful) credulity.
(I reserve, however, the right the believe that babies appear from beneath cabbage leaves. Call it a personal belief mini-system)-
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smithichie8 months ago
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sumptuousdigs8 months ago
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Thanks for the laughs RD! After a hard day at the factory, building dinosaurs for the Flintstones to ride around in, I need a laugh. I work with a few fellows that read only the Bible, oh...and a dictionary, so they can get every nuance...lol!
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Babies? They are a conspiracy. They were created to keep me on the straight and narrow, responsible and all of that. What? Naked bungie jumping?! Sounds great, but tonight it's my turn to watch the baby.
I've often marveled that they start out so small, so needy, and so dumb. It gives me time to awe them with a few tricks, a little uncommon sense, and a fair amount of love and care, so they wont kill me when they find out how screwed up I've left the world they will inherit. Did you ever consider that if they were born much larger, I mean LARGER, they would stick us in their mouths and poo on everything! I'm rather pleased with the way things have worked out.
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alakazam8 months ago
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"Because I can’t get it through my thick logic-proof skull that evolution refers ONLY to the process of speciation, not to abiogenesis, or planet formation, or big bang cosmology, or whether God exists, or where they buried Jimmy Hoffa, or why the sky is blue, or how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop."
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That's the biggie with me...My Border Collie didn't pop out of Border Collie eggs set down 5000 years ago. They developed.
Common sense is really important...so is dealing with the actual argument.
Evolution VS The God Argument is apples and oranges. -
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Sageparadox8 months ago
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I find 6,7, and 8 revelant in alot of discussions.
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6.) Because I can’t get it through my thick logic-proof skull that evolution refers ONLY to the process of speciation, not to abiogenesis, or planet formation, or big bang cosmology, or whether God exists, or where they buried Jimmy Hoffa, or why the sky is blue, or how many licks it takes to get to the center of a ******* Tootsie Pop.
7.) Because the fossil record doesn’t comprise the remains of every single living thing that ever existed on this 4.5 billion year old planet, even though fossilization is a rare process that only occurs under very specific circumstances.
8.) Because science has yet to produce any transitional species… except for the magnitudinous numbers of them found in the fossil record which don’t count because… I uh, OOH LOOK! A SHINY OBJECT!!! *runs away* -
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Sageparadox8 months ago
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19.) Because I don’t understand why, if we share common ancestry with chimps, there are still chimps. And when someone with more than three brain cells in their head inevitably replies: “for the same reason Americans share common ancestry with Brits but there are still Brits, I can’t follow the logic. It’s just too big a leap. Who am I, Evil Knievel?
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23.) Because the idea that life evolved naturally over billions of years is infinitely less believable than the idea that an 800 year old man crammed two of every species into a giant wooden boat when the entire planet flooded, an event for which there is absolutely no geological evidence whatsoever and also makes no ******* sense at all.
29.) Because I didn’t know that evolution has been tested and observed in laboratories
39.) Because evolution means that I absolutely MUST reject everything else I know, abandon all my beliefs, and start aping around my house like a ******* monkey. OOOh-ooohh-ooohohh -OOOOOOHHHHHH!!!!!
43.) Because I don’t know that evolution is routinely used in medicine to diagnose and treat certain illnesses such as genetic ailments, bacterial infections, and viral infections.
44.) Because I believe there is a strong comparison between designed inanimate objects such as buildings, paintings, and watches (which we know were pieced together from identifiable components by human beings) and living organisms (which reproduce with genetic variation under the effects of environmental attrition).
50.) Because despite the fact that in all my years of life, I have never seen any magic, I still believe magic is the answer to anything I don’t immediately comprehend. -
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wealthmagnet8 months ago
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We have come so far from caveman, to the 21st century, i don't believe my ancestors were monkeys
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http://www.passtowealthmachine.com-
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charles12345678908 months ago
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It's interesting the the Theory of Evolution has to be defended with anger, vitreol and words of hatred. If it were an easy fact that we could all understand, there would be a simple explanation for it that we all could understand and accept. The Theory of Gravitational Effect (gravity), the law that like species produce only like species are easy to understand and are never argued by the masses. I think that evolutionists need to explain their theory in such a manner that it's obvious to the rest of us, not just the select few.
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Tangent0018 months ago
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"Change in the genetic composition of a population during successive generations, as a result of natural selection acting on the genetic variation among individuals, and resulting in the development of new species."
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How's that?
Yes, it's not as simple as "Things fall."
"...like species produce only like species..." In the short term, yes. However the greater the span of time between the tenure a common ancestor and the resulting set of species, the less 'like' the species. For example, the same common ancestor produced the Guernsey cow and the blue whale, are these 'like' species?
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charles12345678908 months ago
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It's interesting the the Theory of Evolution has to be defended with anger, vitreol and words of hatred.
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If it were an obvious fact that we could all accept, there would be a simple explanation for it. The Theory of Gravitational Effect (gravity), the law that like species produce only like species and the fact that intelligent design is required to create cars, houses and anything else of value are easy to understand and are never argued by the masses. I think that evolutionists need to explain their theory in such a manner that it's obvious to the rest of us, not just the select few who are the "enlightened ones". It is not obvious to the rest of us how random chance can evolve Cindy Crawford into a beautiful super model in a mere 19 years, yet given 14 billion years cannot do something so simple as create a football, a fence post, nor transform a single simple element (lead) into gold so we can all be rich!-
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pokydoke8 months ago
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Cindy Crawford did not "evolve" in a mere 19 years. She was beautiful when she was born and developed into a beautiful adult. Footballs and fence posts are man made inanimate objects. Gold would be less valuable than lead if there were more gold than lead. I think the only reason that you don't understand evolution is because you don't choose to.
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Coatl8 months ago
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"yet given 14 billion years cannot do something so simple as create a football, a fence post, nor transform a single simple element (lead) into gold so we can all be rich!"
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Evolution it's only possible for things that replicate themselves. So you're talking about 2 very different things.
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