What Makes Us Happy? - The Atlantic
(June 2009) »
Posted By deathray
5 months, 4 weeks ago
in Health & Fitness
How’ s this for the good life? You’ re rich, and you made the dough yourself. You’ re well into your 80s, and have spent hardly a day in the hospital. Your wife had a cancer scare, but she’ s recovered and by your side, just as she’ s been for more than 60 years. Asked to rate the marriage on a scale of 1 to 9, where 1 is perfectly miserable and 9 is perfectly happy, you circle the highest number. You’ ve got two good kids, grandkids too. A survey asks you: “ If you had your life to live over again, what problem, if any, would you have sought help for and to whom would you have gone?” “ Probably I am fooling myself,” you write, “ but I don’ t think I would want to change anything.” If only we could take what you’ ve done, reduce it to a set of rules, and apply it systematically.
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deathray
Hm...summarizing a life...Investment banker, sailor, unintentional gourmet cook. Ex US Naval officer, also Foreign Service. Split my time between NYC and Miami Beach ...
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Beau78905 months, 4 weeks ago
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Seems to me happiness is quantifiable only in the same sense as pain or depression; it's an internal state that can really only be judged by listening to a subject talk about his feelings.
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Whether quantifying happiness based on a subject's impression can develop ways to help people is a separate question. I'm convinced (though I haven't researched the subject) that emotional states are thought processes whose greatest influence is heredity--that brain chemistry and hard-wired neurological pathways are often determined by genetics early on in a person's life.
That said, there are definitely ways to modify one's initial response to any particular stimulus that may cause unhappiness. And some of the qualities correlating with happy lives mentioned in the article--particularly formation of deep relationships and connections to others--can certainly help ameliorate any hereditary handicaps one may have to being happy. -
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Dionys5 months, 4 weeks ago
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"is happiness quantifiable, and can that be used to help people be more happy in general?"
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It's quantifiable in terms of money. They've done surveys that conclusively show that people who make more than a certain amount of money aren't generally happier than people who make that amount. Any idea how much that is? I'll give you a hint.. It's under 40k/year. Fairly far under.
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Poulenc5 months, 4 weeks ago
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Well, each of us quantifies happiness (if that's the word) in his or her own way.
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I'm amused by the happiness scenario give above, however, which posits...let's call it a worldly ideal.
Buddhists would, for example, have a very different idea of happiness and the way to get there.
To be kept in mind, in any case: less is undoubtedly more.-
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deathray5 months, 4 weeks ago
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p -
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i found this passage of the article particularly evocative while i was thinking of your post:
fta:
:...hopeful temperament is best summed up by the story of a father who on Christmas Eve puts into one son’s stocking a fine gold watch, and into another son’s, a pile of horse manure. The next morning, the first boy comes to his father and says glumly, “Dad, I just don’t know what I’ll do with this watch. It’s so fragile. It could break.” The other boy runs to him and says, “Daddy! Daddy! Santa left me a pony, if only I can just find it!”"
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Mikunited5 months, 4 weeks ago
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What a wonderful research project,this is.I'm not sure whether one can reduce happiness to a formula.Certainly not so one can measure each mans life.The main things that bring happiness,are nameless qualities,that reside deep in the psyche.A mans inner life,is what makes him what he is.His outer patterns often appear counter to this.
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cowboygrandpa5 months, 4 weeks ago
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Not quite sure as happiness is quantifiable, due to the variance of happiness. One can be overjoyed one day and deeply depressed another.
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It seems to me that although I remember my happy days quite fondly. I recall my sad days much less as time goes by. -
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1basque15 months, 4 weeks ago
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While we chase the golden ring for success and fortune, we lose the mindset of rest and relaxation. We take what we are handed instead of planning a path of taking care of our health and loving the time that is so very short .
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I'm out there with this comment, what does it say about myself ? -
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tehranchik5 months, 4 weeks ago
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Beau's statement is quite correct.
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There are studies on identical twins raised in the same environment, at home with mom and dad, and at the age of 19 - 23 or so one twin develops psychosomatic illness. This does suggest something happening in the brain that outside influences ( mom, dad, smoking, drinking) would not be able to modify.
These twins seemed perfectly normal up to the point of change - nothing remarkable about their behaviors.
There were no real conclusions at the end of the particular study I saw. No triggers found yet.-
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dissent5 months, 4 weeks ago
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funny you should say that. i've noted something similar in my personal experience and relationships with identical twins, especially around late teens early twenties. my own conclusion has been, and i don't claim to be any kind of expert but i'm surprised these 'triggers' haven't been apparent in such studies, is that identical twins identities are defined by their identical-ness.
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invariably however differences will become apparent - one will have slightly better grades, be better looking, be more popular, be better athletically, artistically, whatever. they both, however, have been raised to think and believe that they are pretty much the same, even down to what they wear and see in the mirror. once a difference is recognized, and that difference is measured in terms of 'success' as defined by society, an element of competition now exists between them.
the one that is proving to be the 'winner' will continue to build on and develop the mutually shared identity established since childhood while the 'loser' will rebel against it, sometimes going in the opposite direction for a time -- different hairstyle, different wardrobe, different values, and behavior that is contrary to the pattern established since day one, ie. they rebel -- if only to develop a new identity in a realm or domain in which that particular twin can establish a greater self-esteem that is not dependent on and defined by the other, and to which the other has no access. it's common teenage angst and rebellion but more extreme because of the fact that they have had a doppelganger with them every day of their lives
just a thought
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tehranchik5 months, 4 weeks ago
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Beau's statement is quite correct.
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There are studies on identical twins raised in the same environment, at home with mom and dad, and at the age of 19 - 23 or so one twin develops psychosomatic illness. This does suggest something happening in the brain that outside influences ( mom, dad, smoking, drinking) would not be able to modify.
These twins seemed perfectly normal up to the point of change - nothing remarkable about their behaviors.
There were no real conclusions at the end of the particular study I saw. No triggers found yet. -
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lvrofwolves5 months, 4 weeks ago
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I don't think there's too many people who turn down happiness, it's just recognizing it when it's close to us can sometimes be a problem, we all can take more, I've never heard anyone say 'no thank you, I have enough happiness'
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With so many forms of happiness,experiencing happiness is a life long goal, not really a destination until the end maybe, and you can think back, was I fairly happy with my life, whatever your own personal definition of happiness is. -
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Bkumm5 months, 4 weeks ago
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cowboygrandpa5 months, 4 weeks ago
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Well, happiness for one might cause sadness for another as well.
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I mean when I was younger I was "happy" when I was drunk and forgot all my problems. Yet I wasn't really happy. Just removed from the state of mind of being overwhelmed by the problems I faced.
Still being in that state caused unhappiness for others who had to deal with another problem, my drunkeness.
So I think one has to define happiness in a manner where ones happiness doesn't cause anothers sadness. In that case one might find that true happiness is almost elusive. -
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Poulenc5 months, 4 weeks ago
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(God! "Netscape!" I remember the name. Sort of.
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It does rather warm the heart to be among old pals who have made it through the rain and kept their self-respect, so to speak, all these years....
...remember when we were up in arms at the new design? That happened...when? Light years ago, right?) -
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flyonthewallzz5 months, 4 weeks ago
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http://mw1.m-w.com/dictionary/happiness
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Main Entry:
hap·pi·ness
Pronunciation:
\?ha-p?-n?s\
Function:noun
Date:15th century
1#obsolete : good fortune : prosperity
2# a: a state of well-being and contentment : joy
b: a pleasurable or satisfying experience
3#: felicity, aptness
Well: if "happiness" can be quantified I think Old Merriam-Webster may have to come up with better definition for it. -
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DarkWizard5 months, 4 weeks ago
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Ah, to wax philosophically about happiness. I disagree with The Beatles that Happiness Is A Warm Gun, but find much happiness in listening to their music.
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This was a very interesting article/study as it captures a time and a way of life that may never be revisited as progress in understanding human nature and technological advancements in communication change our psychological and sociological landscapes.
Which brings me to a point...of sorts. I have found that I am happiest when I have time to reflect. Digging deep in to the concept of "who" I am. This is not based on money, success, conquests, or external comparisons to my peers, but rather a journey of honesty about where I'm at right now and what things I'd change.
After reflecting, I find that the material world has nothing for me beyond those things which all men and women need to survive. It's all about relationships with those I care about and those that care about me. Material things are just icing on the cake. Therefore, I cannot change a thing or I would not be who I am.
I think I'll go listen to some Beatles...-
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Progressive5 months, 4 weeks ago
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"I disagree with The Beatles that Happiness Is A Warm Gun, but find much happiness in listening to their music."
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...then you know they're happy just to dance with you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTBivLC9pbA
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DrCarlHindy5 months, 4 weeks ago
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A great article. Part of the growing body of research showing that we have many misconceptions about what will lead to happiness. These data from a large longitudinal study are very interesting.
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Still, it takes such a great leap of faith to let go of our restless pursuit of happiness (in the habitual and probably wrong ways) and try to do differently. And an even bigger leap of faith to teach our children different ways, rather than push them down the same paths we've gone.
Carl Hindy, PhD
Clinical Psychologist, Nashua NH
http://www.hindyassociates.com-
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deathray5 months, 4 weeks ago
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thanks for your input carl -
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as it turns out there are a fair number of people who post on this social networking site who have faced a great deal of adversity, and maintained not only their sense of humor, but project a sense of happiness through it all. it helps that we can all laugh together.
they are an inspiration to me.
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lvrofwolves5 months, 4 weeks ago
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7QgsixRWNw
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Shiny happy people :-) -
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greenmac5 months, 4 weeks ago
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Circumstance has a bearing on most peoples happiness. If we can fulfill our basic needs such as shelter and food ....happiness is up to the individual. Now that is a very basic approach to the question. We all know that those who share our space and life also have input to the equation. We may share our space with a positive or negative person that may or may not have an affect on how our personal happiness .... it is up to the individual, whether or not they wish to adapt to the other persons norms. In most cases we are influenced by others.
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We have all seen people scraping by that were happy and fun to be with...we also have seen people born with a silver spoon in their mouth that were miserable. We all have wants...but we all should be happy with what we have as well. We are born to die...we should try to enjoy the time in between. sure there are ups and downs, we should accept the fact that not everything will be a party all of the time.
Look around and you will see people that are worse off than yourself.... enjoy what you have. If you can put a smile on one persons face each and every day... you to will be happy. -
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Amabaie5 months, 4 weeks ago
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"Circumstance has a bearing on most peoples happiness. If we can fulfill our basic needs such as shelter and food ....happiness is up to the individual. "
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That is it in a nutshell. To illustrate, the person who struggles without transportation to get around, adds much to his happiness by getting a very basic, small car (or perhaps even a bicycle). The person with the basic, small car who suddenly gets a luxurious car feels temporarily thrilled...but that disappears quickly because his life really is not better in any meaningful way. -
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yoyicueComment removed: Spam
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AnteUp5 months, 4 weeks ago
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Maybe this is a female response, but I knew exactly why
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one might cross the street rather than run into the person
that gave you a compliment the day before. I believe that
was within the discussion of negatives being insular, and
positive experiences leaving some feeling exposed or vulnerable.
I've done it myself! A compliment, rather than being enjoyed,
can make you fearful of - shall we say - a "dip" in your ratings. The pleasure of the day before ends up making you
feel unacceptable in some way. Well, there you have it -
not 100% well adjusted. Do men ever feel that way?
But - I don't mean praises on physical beauty only -
it could be for a cake you baked - or a letter to the
editor..........after a compliment there is a fear of
failure. How about it guys? -
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