Chicken Sh!t Asteroid Veers Away At Last Minute »

Posted By ind06 5 months, 3 weeks ago in Humor
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TUCSON, AZ - Though initial calculations showed it to be on a direct collision course with Earth, a pansy-ass asteroid approximately the size of Rhode Island has instead altered its trajectory to avoid the planet by more than 40,000 miles, astronomers at the University of Arizona reported Monday. "Guess it just didn't have the stones to go through with it," Richard A. Kowalski of the Catalina Sky Survey said. "Real big surprise. Maybe you can try again when you accrete a little more mass than 6.32 x 1015 kilograms, okay? Chicken-sh!t."

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    ind065 months, 3 weeks ago

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    The asteroid zoomed away from Earth promising to return with its big brother to which the moon replied "My planet can beat up your big brother any millennial reiteration of your orbital cycle, nyaaah!"

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    greenmac5 months, 3 weeks ago

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    somewhere out there in space is a black hole emitting gas

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      BronxBomber5 months, 3 weeks ago

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      (Putting a Duracell battery on shoulder)

      "C'mon asteroid.....I dare yah!"

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      StevieGee5 months, 3 weeks ago

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      Last I heard, the rock with no stones was heading for the newly demoted Pluto.

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        deathray5 months, 3 weeks ago

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        "an asteroid the size of rhode island..."

        if we could persuade rhode island to peel itself off and follow the asteroid, our happiness could be complete.

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          cowboygrandpa5 months, 3 weeks ago

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          FTA

          "Kowalski said that one month ago Asteroid 2009-XG2—nicknamed "Old Limp Dick"—was following a path that, even accounting for heat friction and gravitational pull from other celestial bodies, gave it a 97 percent chance of striking Earth. Further observation and calculations, however, indicated that the asteroid would instead tuck its balls between its legs and change its course by more than 22 degrees."

          Might have known. It takes after Cheney, Limpaw, GW Bush... It should be called the neocon roid. LOL

          God one ind06

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          Progressive5 months, 3 weeks ago

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          Don't believe everything you read--we all know who was really chicken:

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vnp4kj5lLOU

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            Mdiar5 months, 3 weeks ago

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            Pfft, that asteroid ran away cuz it saw me with his mom and ran in shame.

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            Charlson5 months, 3 weeks ago

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            I have always known we were in an intergalactic game of chicken with all the heavenly bodies hurtling around in our universe. Earth is the "boss"! That is until it meets a bigger, badder hunk of space stuff. lol.

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            cloud155 months, 3 weeks ago

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            I guess that asteroid was trying to overcompensate for its lack of manhood....

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              kriicket5 months, 3 weeks ago

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              why is it that a hemorroid is in your butt and an asteroid is in the hemisphere??? Go figure ....

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