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Posted By ind06 6 months, 3 weeks ago in Humor

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TUCSON, AZ - Though initial calculations showed it to be on a direct collision course with Earth, a pansy-ass asteroid approximately the size of Rhode Island has instead altered its trajectory to avoid the planet by more than 40,000 miles, astronomers at the University of Arizona reported Monday. "Guess it just didn't have the stones to go through with it," Richard A. Kowalski of the Catalina Sky Survey said. "Real big surprise. Maybe you can try again when you accrete a little more mass than 6.32 x 1015 kilograms, okay? Chicken-sh!t."

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ind066 months, 3 weeks ago

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The asteroid zoomed away from Earth promising to return with its big brother to which the moon replied "My planet can beat up your big brother any millennial reiteration of your orbital cycle, nyaaah!"

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  greenmac6 months, 3 weeks ago
  
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  Earth turned to Astroid and said " your are talking out Ur Anus"
  
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    ind066 months, 3 weeks ago
    
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    Oh HO! a little "ass" / "ASteroidal humor eh?
    
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  deathray6 months, 3 weeks ago
  
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  it's all relativ-istic
  
  so much for any attempt at profundity; the asteroid left because the global climate change elves threatened to beat it into a co2 induced coma
  
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greenmac6 months, 3 weeks ago

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somewhere out there in space is a black hole emitting gas

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BronxBomber6 months, 3 weeks ago

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(Putting a Duracell battery on shoulder)

"C'mon asteroid.....I dare yah!"

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  BronxBomber6 months, 3 weeks ago
  
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  One thing I can't stand is a piece of intergalactic rock with no COJONES!
  
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    greenmac6 months, 3 weeks ago
    
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    When you talk like that it makes my 'nebulas hard"
    
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      uncle-dave6 months, 3 weeks ago
      
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      Well, I don't know about that, but it did make my globular cluster quiver a tad.
      
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        greenmac6 months, 3 weeks ago
        
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        Dop you mean your stellar probe?
        
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  y_soitenly6 months, 2 weeks ago
  
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  BB,
  
  You've been watching too many old commericals... from the TV days of TJ Hooker! lol
  
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StevieGee6 months, 3 weeks ago

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Last I heard, the rock with no stones was heading for the newly demoted Pluto.

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deathray6 months, 3 weeks ago

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"an asteroid the size of rhode island..."

if we could persuade rhode island to peel itself off and follow the asteroid, our happiness could be complete.

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cowboygrandpa6 months, 3 weeks ago

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FTA

"Kowalski said that one month ago Asteroid 2009-XG2—nicknamed "Old Limp Dick"—was following a path that, even accounting for heat friction and gravitational pull from other celestial bodies, gave it a 97 percent chance of striking Earth. Further observation and calculations, however, indicated that the asteroid would instead tuck its balls between its legs and change its course by more than 22 degrees."

Might have known. It takes after Cheney, Limpaw, GW Bush... It should be called the neocon roid. LOL

God one ind06

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  gsmittle6 months, 3 weeks ago
  
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  "It should be called the neocon roid."
  
  Talk about your pain in the a$$…
  
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Progressive6 months, 3 weeks ago

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Don't believe everything you read--we all know who was really chicken:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vnp4kj5lLOU

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Mdiar6 months, 3 weeks ago

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Pfft, that asteroid ran away cuz it saw me with his mom and ran in shame.

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  Charlson6 months, 3 weeks ago
  
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  So you're the asteroid's Daddy? lol.
  
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    Mdiar6 months, 3 weeks ago
    
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    Nope, but that asteroid's mom is is stellar in her beauty. She's a former Miss Universe, in fact.
    
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Charlson6 months, 3 weeks ago

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I have always known we were in an intergalactic game of chicken with all the heavenly bodies hurtling around in our universe. Earth is the "boss"! That is until it meets a bigger, badder hunk of space stuff. lol.

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  ind066 months, 3 weeks ago
  
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  We "rock"!
  
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    greenmac6 months, 3 weeks ago
    
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    Nah.... Earth is just good at spin. She has been hot and cold lately... lots of rumors about her hot flashes. Now Mars ....that is the Red Commie in the midst. we just don't know about this guy. Is he hiding something?
    
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      ind066 months, 3 weeks ago
      
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      Say what you want about Mars, but Venus is totally HOT!
      
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        Mdiar6 months, 3 weeks ago
        
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        Not as hot as Rigel, that asteroids mom! She is smokin'! Hotter than the sun, I'd say.
        
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        greenmac6 months, 3 weeks ago
        
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        Have you seen her sister "Arora Borealis"...man can she dance!
        
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cloud156 months, 3 weeks ago

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I guess that asteroid was trying to overcompensate for its lack of manhood....

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kriicket6 months, 3 weeks ago

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why is it that a hemorroid is in your butt and an asteroid is in the hemisphere??? Go figure ....

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