Lee Stranahan: Republican Party Bankrupt; Reorganizes As A Church »
Posted By bluetexasvalley 6 months, 3 weeks ago in Humor
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Troubled by dwindling membership and numerous setbacks, the 155 year-old Republican Party filed for financial, intellectual and moral bankruptcy and announced its reorganization as a tax-exempt church. The new GOP will be officially called The First Church Of Jesus Loves America And Latter Day Lower Taxes Anti Foreigner Old Time Heterosexual Do As I say Not As I Do Affluence Ministry Hoop N' Hollerin' Revival Gun Lovin' Banker's Club Outreach Hootenanny, Inc but will still use the name "Republican Party" for most functions.
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bluetexasvalley
I am a 60-plus widow, retired after almost 40 years in the newspaper business. My love of politics was learned, first, from my father, a ...
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bluetexasvalley6 months, 3 weeks ago
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FTA:
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Experts think that few consumers will notice any difference.
The last ditch move is widely seen as 'the only hope' for the embattled political organization, according to many observers. In recent days, the Republican Party had been the the object of a takeover bid from Rupert Murdoch's ironically named News Corp., until it was discovered that Murdoch already had a significant ownership in the GOP. Other attempts to save the sagging brand had failed, including the attempt by Michael Steele to raise capital by licensing the GOP's trademarked elephant symbol for an athletic clothing line. -
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Spadecaller6 months, 3 weeks ago
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I saw Newt Gingrich on "Meet the Nation" yesterday. I could only stomach of few minutes of him. He says the GOP consists of "Reagan Conservatives" like himself. LOL!
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He is first a number of other things before he is a Reagan Con. He did'nt like hearing the GOP characterized as group of right wing Christian extremists and neocons. Too bad; isn't it? -
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cowboygrandpa6 months, 3 weeks ago
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"Experts think that few consumers will notice any difference.
The last ditch move is widely seen as 'the only hope' for the embattled political organization, according to many observers. In recent days, the Republican Party had been the the object of a takeover bid from Rupert Murdoch's ironically named News Corp., until it was discovered that Murdoch already had a significant ownership in the GOP. Other attempts to save the sagging brand had failed, including the attempt by Michael Steele to raise capital by licensing the GOP's trademarked elephant symbol for an athletic clothing line.
Democratic Party leaders could not immediately be reached for comment as they were solving problems and doing things.
Republican officials wasted no time in taking advantage of their new found status as a religion and began punishing infidels, giving each other impressive titles and handing out funny hats. Meghan McCain was spotted in Phoenix being fitted for a custom tailored iron maiden while Colin Powell was locked in a tower high above Dallas, where his cries of agony could be heard from as far away as a BBQ place that former President George W. Bush frequents.
His Most High Holiness Newt Gingrich read a prepared statement that said in part, "Thus begins a new era in American Politics and so we declare the beginning of a new calendar. We look forward to crushing our enemies during coming Year One Federal Crusade and are assured by Holy Priestess Of Eternal Cable New Appearances Liz Cheney that the mighty hand of her Father shall smite our foes with your tax deductible contribution."
In a move that left many puzzled, conservative icon Rush Limbaugh did not seek an exalted title and opted instead for 'Rush LaVey'."
Hahahhahahaaaaaa !!!!!!
btv, excellent find. A lot of truth said in humor. -
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StevieGee6 months, 3 weeks ago
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FTA: The new GOP will be officially called The First Church Of Jesus Loves America And Latter Day Lower Taxes Anti Foreigner Old Time Heterosexual Do As I say Not As I Do Affluence Ministry Hoop N' Hollerin' Revival Gun Lovin' Banker's Club Outreach Hootenanny, Inc but will still use the name "Republican Party" for most functions.
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This just in: The right wing of this new church is calling for an end to use of the term "Republican Party" because a party implies that you are having fun. This, of course, will be a mortal sin in the new church. Those caught using the term will be banished by The Grand Bishop of Limbaugh to the much scorned left (conservative) wing of the church along with the outed and suspected homosexuals and those suspected of not owning guns. -
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