How Can Those with Dementia and Their Families Cope with Day-to-Day Frustration? »
Posted By WikiMap 1 week, 2 days ago in NewsAs those who suffer from dementia experience changes in their physical and emotional capabilities, feelings of depression, anger and frustration often set in. Dementia can be a frustrating condition for the patient to deal with and can be equally distressing and difficult to handle for their loved ones, who are often the people directly involved in their day to day care.
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GehlLady1 week, 2 days ago
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The quick answer to the title question is wine, tears, and a little of Gods natural medicine.
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Other than that, I have to disagree with one or two points made in the article.
In my case, I have to be very careful in straightening out the 'clutter'. As Moms dementia has progressed, it has gotten somewhat easier, but moving her things early on brought more heartache and anger. She said they were hers, and I had no right to move, dispose, or clean them...after all, did I think she was incapable? Did I want them for myself? When she misplaced things, it was my fault, I moved them, sold them, threw them away. I stopped trying, and we got along fine. My sister insisted she knew best, tried to run over her, and it would be hell. I finally won, was able to stop her for the most part.
For me, it came down to dignity. I refused to rob her of her dignity, her right to be respected in her own home. I knew it was only a matter of time until I could clean and straighten everything out.
She no longer knows this is her home, and rarely knows who I really am. I'm 'the lady in charge', she pays to live with me in my home, or I work here in this nursing home, the story evolves. She's happy, would rather be here with me than at home, which brings me to my second point. So far, this is much harder on me than it is for her. Hands down, no doubt. I have to be able to roll with the delusions without feeding them, smile when my heart is breaking, stay calm, speak calmly when I want/need to scream. I have to tactfully alert visitors that haven't seen her in a long while when they look confused and ask the wrong questions, while preserving as much of her dignity as I can. I can't cry with her when my brother reminds her, and she remembers, I'm her daughter, I have to hug her, tell her it's OK, I understand, I'm OK, would she like some coffee? A piece of pie?
This is a horrible thing for her, she's confused, scared, angry that this is happening to her, and then she's fine, she's happy, telling me all about her husband, her family, her flower shop. Thank God, the happy lasts much longer than the bad for her.......so far. -
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getreal11 week, 1 day ago
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I honor my mother and her dementia. She is 93 or 96 yrs, we are not sure if she was born in 1914 or 1916. She folds our clothes, from the dryer and she washes the dishes. We do a lot of it over and we say nothing. Her hearing and eyes are not as keen. She will stay stuck on CNN till it can almost drive us nuts. Since CNN repeats most of the same happenings several times over in a day, it helps her to put the happenings in the news together. She is pretty well on track with that. She likes to put things, where she thinks they should be. So we call it a treasure hunt when we can't find what we are looking for. She can get on a roll with WWII docks and my father who was an army captain at that time. Then she will ask me if I still have all his metals. I know I'm not looking forward to when she leaves us.
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hamy1 week, 1 day ago
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My father's dementia was more hard on his body than his mind. He was unable to move and speak by the end of his life. It was more horrible to me to think that he was trapped in a body that wouldn't work.
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He did have sundowners which was horrible to deal with. My mother would call me at 2 in the morning to talk to him because he was accusing her of being an impostor. I would simply calm him down while my mom hid in the bathroom.
It was something that I don't wish on anyone.
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